r/technology May 13 '22

Mother Alleges TikTok Challenge Led to Daughter's Death, Was Recommended by Its Algorithm Social Media

https://gizmodo.com/tiktok-blackout-challenge-girl-dies-mom-sues-algori-1848922966
2.4k Upvotes

1.5k

u/waste_yoot May 13 '22 Brighten My Day

10? Minimum age to use tiktok is 13

Parents, the longer you can go without your kids using social media the better. If their friends are all using it, put them in girl guides or karate or something.

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u/WuanTonBomb May 13 '22

Yep. Sober Adults ruin their lives on the internet. Imagine what idiotic shit a 10 year old could get into. Crazy that people let iPads babysit their kids

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u/techleopard May 13 '22

Insane levels of bullying -- that's what most 10 year olds get themselves into when posting stuff online.

Not only do they let the tablets and phones babysit their kids, but then they make adamant excuses for it. "My baby NEEEEEEEEDS his smart phone! What if he needs to call or text me!?!?!?" No, mama bear, quit acting like kids were helpless before cell phones were invented. Baby Bear doesn't need to text you each time he goes to a new class and every teacher in the school has a phone if you're just desperately needed.

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u/7dipity May 13 '22

Also if you want your kids to be able to contact you they don’t need an iPhone with internet access

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u/sqweet92 May 13 '22

Yep. My 9yo has a phone. It's a flip phone but it's only so she can call me when she needs to and it's not often but in an emergency her phone will make calls.

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u/SpaceBoJangles May 13 '22

I feel like anyone under 13 or 14 should have a flip phone with 3 numbers (Mom, Dad, 911) programmed into it.

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u/Tuscanthecow May 13 '22

I'm not defending it, but it's also worth noting that your kid will probably also get bullied for not having those devices and being checks notes "cool" as they say.

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u/OvoidPovoid May 13 '22

I have a dream of a generation of kids who think social media and cell phones are fucking lame

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u/Tuscanthecow May 13 '22

It'll be the generation that's has ear pods that control everything like in that black mirror episode.

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u/defiancy May 13 '22

Kids will find a reason to bully with or without a device. I got bullied once because my shoes were green. If they want to bully, they'll make up a reason.

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u/JCC114 May 13 '22 Silver Gold

Like anyone is going to listen to broccoli shoes over here. Seriously hope I did not just trigger some form of PTSD.

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u/SpaceBoJangles May 13 '22

Lmao, broccoli shoes.

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u/defiancy May 13 '22 edited May 14 '22

Haha, I remember it really well because it was in the locker room after PE and I was changing and had been wearing a black shirt/pants that day. Kid said "he's got on black on black on green!" Starts laughing and making fun of the color and brand, then it turns into a group laughing (at me). I find it more funny now, because at the time I was just confused why they cared.

As a white kid that grew up in a lot of predominantly poor black areas, I never understood why a pair of Jordans brought status but I definitely knew what happens when you wear Spalding's (or Wal-Mart shoes).

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u/jshroebuck May 14 '22

Should have said "Suck it. DX Bitch!"

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u/gfsincere May 14 '22

Got suspended for this in 6th grade. Still worth it.

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u/Tuscanthecow May 13 '22

That's very true.

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u/ixosamaxi May 13 '22

Lmaoo he got booger boots

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u/ThorLoko May 13 '22

Dusty old bones, full of green dust!

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u/MillianaT May 13 '22

There are restrictions you can put on a device for a kid. (I used those.)

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u/StabbingHobo May 13 '22

Anecdote.

I didn’t want my eldest daughter using Snapchat. We don’t go through her phone, but wanted to, should the need arise, have that option. Snapchat by definition made that impossible.

I held my ground on the topic as much as she complained about it.

Eventually it dawned on me — would I be as adamant about my son playing a specific video game or console? Because the reality became clear that as true as it was that it was ultimately for her benefit, it also isolated them from their social group who were all using that platform.

It would honestly require ALL parents to agree to not let their kid use that platform in order for it to be effective and as a parent, you don’t really want to ostracize your kid even if it is the right call. They have enough on their plate anyway as they grow into young adults and don’t require us making it harder.

So, against my better judgement, I relented and gave my approval.

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u/LordCyler May 13 '22

Approval with monitoring, 100x more effective then denial, your kid finding another way, and you don't know it exists to monitor.

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u/StabbingHobo May 13 '22

She’s incapable of doing anything on my network without me knowing the platforms she’s leveraging.

I even knew when she started to dabble in porn viewing.

Point remains, I dislike the platform for her, but to remove it means isolation from her social circle which is arguably equally harmful

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u/Panzerschwein May 13 '22

The features you lacked from Snapchat are exactly why kids want to use it.

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u/StabbingHobo May 13 '22

Oh, I’m aware.

Just changes the approach. “I can only hope you’re making smart choices” and occasionally link news articles about revenge porn and cyber bullying to remind her of what’s at stake

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u/Angdrambor May 13 '22

Don't just link articles. Talk to your children.

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u/fakemoose May 13 '22

As someone who was once a teen who thought my parents were idiots, sometimes they need to hear it from multiple sources.

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u/StabbingHobo May 13 '22

Haha. Yeah, we have, but we’re at the ‘parents are stupid’ phase so it’s fruitless. We’re doing the herding cats approach with gentle guiding. Best you can do

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u/Top_Opportunity4250 May 14 '22

At this stage in life they think everything is dumb because they are overwhelmed; it’s like a way to protect themselves. You sound like great parents btw. Mine were horrible.

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u/landswipe May 14 '22

kids will be kids, better to guide and support them with their own decisions rather than control and oppress them. I'm a firm believer that the more you oppress the more they rebel in the exact direction you are trying to prevent them from heading. I have seen it time and time again...

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u/Tuscanthecow May 13 '22

My son is 9 months old, he is my first kid. I feel like this is the right call, but I want to really drill in how to be responsible with it. I know he is going to be an idiot and do something stupid. It's inevitable. I had a digital video camera and my friends and I thought we would be the next Jackass (spoilers: we were far from it). Best I can do is hope to instill good morals and hopefully enough sense to not do something TOO stupid.

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u/StabbingHobo May 13 '22

Exactly this. Drill into their heads the permanence of the internet and/or the need to maintain certain elements of privacy.

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u/Flintyy May 14 '22

A kid tried to make fun of me back in school because of a few hairs on one eyebrow flipped upward....

Bullies gonna bully.

Parents just need to do better.

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u/Minnsnow May 13 '22

That’s not a reason to get a kid a device that exposes them to the literal world.

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u/Tuscanthecow May 13 '22

I said I wasn't defending it. Just playing devil's advocate.

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u/AltairdeFiren May 13 '22

They will get bullied regardless. I’ve seen well off kids who are good looking and smart get bullied cause they have stupid hair or something. Parents need to stop trying to prevent bullying, it’s an unwinnable war. Instead we should focus on being there for our children when it happens, helping them respond to it in a healthy way and teach them how to deal with those situations.

Otherwise they become adults and just have a meltdown every time someone upsets them.

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u/Tuscanthecow May 13 '22

I agree and disagree with this. On the one hand you are right, kids need to learn to cope and healthily handle their emotions. I think a big part of the problem is the adults in their life project their insecurities and their own emotional issues onto their kids, intentionally or not. A kid who is taught something is wrong by a parent, who gets ridiculed or scolded by that parent for not doing it their way, will do the same to a pier if that kid does anything differently.

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u/TiminAurora May 13 '22

Also, devils advocate here, get them a brick phone that isn't smart....like a Nokia or JUST PHONE! The Motorola Razor.....your 10 year old doesn't need an Iphone 13 FFS!!

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u/fakemoose May 13 '22

Those old phones don’t work anymore because the 2G and 3G networks are being phased out. And the new Razr is a smartphone albeit still a flip phone.

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u/hcsLabs May 13 '22

Our youngest has had a cell phone since primary school for potential medical emergencies. It was a flip-phone, with my wife's number programmed for holding down '1', and my number programmed for holding down '2'.

Our rule has been no Facebook/Twitter/Snapchat/etc. until 13, and no computers in their rooms until recently (now that the youngest is 18, and it's his money he's spending anyways).

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u/[deleted] May 14 '22

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u/fohpo02 May 13 '22

As a teacher, it blows my mind that so many parents think their kids need a phone, most of us grew up while cell phones were still in their infancy. We all made it without one…

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u/kdex89 May 13 '22

Depends on what they have on the iPad. My kids use it for learning such as khan academy kids.

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u/ImOnTheLoo May 13 '22

Yeah I think OP doesn’t have kids. There’s a balance. Take kids outdoors, camping, sports, arts, etc. But damn sometimes I need to do something around the house so here’s the iPad with controlled content on it.

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u/ApparentlyABot May 13 '22

I grew up in a generation where the tv was my babysitter, so it's not really that crazy, just same thing different colour.

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u/Roheez May 13 '22

It's more interactive, for better and worse

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u/d3l3t3rious May 13 '22

Terrible take, your TV would not connect you directly to people who could bully, groom or abduct you. That's the whole root of the problem, people raised in front of TVs thinking the internet is also just for passive media consumption. It's interactive and full of bad actors.

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u/fwubglubbel May 13 '22

same thing different colour

First day on the internet?

Yeah. Growing up, 4chan and Pornhub were my favorite TV shows.

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u/Worried_Lawfulness43 May 13 '22

I’m 21 and I remember the blackout challenge was a thing when I was in Highschool. This challenge was pretty viral without TikTok being involved. There’s always going to be harmful stuff on the internet that circulates. It’s your job to be your kid’s buffer. Or to at the very least tell them when something is not safe or good to engage in.

Seeing as this challenge has been around forever, I doubt she’s gonna get anything from this lawsuit.

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u/uraniumstingray May 14 '22

Chubby Bunny is also a classic and these stupid fucking challenges can spread without the internet but the internet just makes it worse

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u/techleopard May 13 '22

Many years ago, when a lot of my same-aged peers were having their first kids, I saw a LOT of people immediately making their children Facebook accounts, "for when they get older."

Those same parents then shoved cell phones into their kids' hands when they're old enough to hold them up, because God forbid, we teach children that sometimes you just have to be idle, or take kids out of stores/public places when they're having a melt down. Those devices are never restricted and they just let kids surf adult, unfiltered YouTube at their own whimsy.

10-11 year olds are posting videos and photos all the time. They're not dumb, they can read. They know how to create new accounts and work the sites. If they don't, a school friend certainly can help them. Parents just aren't paying a lick of attention.

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u/fohpo02 May 13 '22

Deleted my Facebook around the time I started dating seriously, shit was unnecessary drama

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u/MoogProg May 13 '22

Kinda serious question: what are you all doing that creates such toxic FB feeds? Mine is filled with creatives, and friends, and musicians, with zero drama.

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u/fohpo02 May 13 '22

Just the circle of people I grew up with, that and I just stopped using it over time

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u/djluminol May 13 '22 edited May 14 '22

Those devices are never restricted and they just let kids surf adult, unfiltered YouTube at their own whimsy

That's kind of win/lose proposition imo. It's a good thing that kids are being raised without sexual hang-ups and access to things like medical answers every kid has but none of them ever want to ask. How does a period work, what is acne, Why does my voice sound weird, why does it feel weird when I climb the ropes in gym class etc. But on the other hand gore and child predators.

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u/red286 May 13 '22

Sure, but the problem is that YouTube's algorithm loves directing people towards conspiracy theories, misinformation, and extremist points of view.

It's bad enough when it's shoving that bullshit down the throats of 20-somethings that in theory should be smart enough not to fall for it (but as recent history has shown us, clearly aren't). But when you're talking about teens and pre-teens? They're going to swallow that stuff hook line and sinker. You're going to wind up with 12 year olds who think Jews run the world.

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u/Flintyy May 14 '22

This right here basically. So many "parents" dont seem to understand the social engineering implications on younger kids is tremendously higher than young adults and adults alike for reasons you mentioned.

It's so so much worse than people probably realize and/or even care about.

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u/Shutterstormphoto May 13 '22

In a similar vein, my parents started putting me in front of a computer when I was 3. I played reading and math games and quickly became very good at them. I built my own computers around 12, now I’m a programmer. My familiarity with computers has been a massive help.

It all depends what you DO with the screen. Staring at YouTube might not seem super useful, but just because a kid is using a phone doesn’t mean it’s bad. I know kids with millions of followers — they are learning how to cater to a crowd, how to test their product (videos), how to take criticism, how to push for better quality, and that more quality isn’t always the answer. I know a kid who became a brand manager because he had a huge Twitter following. I know kids who became world champion video game players because they played a ton.

All I’m trying to say is that your brain doesn’t rot just because you consume media. It rots when you do nothing with it. Everyone who makes movies has watched a ton of movies. Everyone who succeeds as a YouTuber watches a ton of YouTube. They just choose to be producers instead of consumers.

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u/Hans_Brickface May 13 '22 edited May 13 '22

Staring at YouTube might not seem super useful, but just because a kid is using a phone doesn’t mean it’s bad.

Why does it need to be a phone? Get a PC or Chromebook, put it in the living room, so you can keep an eye on what your kid is into.

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u/greatauntflossy May 13 '22

This is a great perspective and I wish this comment was further up so more could read it. The possibilities of doing good things are definitely there, but most of us parents were raised without mobile phones and social media so we just don't know how to parent properly with these forces.

On one end there is abstinence, on the other is complete freedom to do whatever, neither of which will likely serve your kid in the long run and in fact may lead to serious hurdles in life. Finding something in the middle is probably a healthy place to be, but that needs to be curated with intention and I sure as hell have no idea what that looks like or what that means.

Where and how can we as parents develop these skills?

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u/confessionbearday May 14 '22

know kids with millions of followers — they are learning how to cater to a crowd, how to test their product (videos), how to take criticism, how to push for better quality, and that more quality isn’t always the answer.

And they're killing themselves. Don't leave that part out, because that's relevant.

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u/WiseMaster1077 May 14 '22

Exactly this. I played games since I can remember, but I did so with my mother, I was moving and she was aiming. I also played games where you actually needed to think, designed for small children, which probably played a huge part in me being good st math, and learning reading very early.

It also improves language skills, I am native hungarian, and the amount I learned from games back then, and from people I played games with later, and just from online stuff in general is astronomical compared to what I learned from anywhere else. I could speak english better 4 years ago than I can german now(Im "studying" german for 2 years, and at that point in school I was studying english for 1)

And when I asked one of my teachers of what they think about little kids playing games, they said really really bad things about the parents (of course they didn't know) I almost shouted at them like bitch my parents and they way I was raised is 80% the reason you ask me stuff when you need to use any digital tech, and why I am now better at maths and physics that you in your life ever was or will be(she was a literature teacher). All this to say is, yeah kids having acces to the internet can fuck their life up so so much, but with proper care and "technic" it can have great benefits

Im 15, things might make more sense that way

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u/Darphon May 13 '22

That was my first thought. She shouldn't have been on it in the first place.

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u/Zenketski_2 May 13 '22

Oh my God, people lying about their age on the internet? Meanwhile, my MySpace page probably says I'm something like 47 when I'm in my 20s

You can't even have a Gmail until you're thirteen, think about the way virtual learning is and how many kids have smartphones, you think none of them have email addresses they personally use

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u/posessedhouse May 13 '22

There are child Gmail accounts, tied to a parental acct.

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u/aphrodora May 13 '22

My step daughter changed her birthday on her Gmail account and it was weeks if not months before I realized she was no longer under the parental control protection. All it took was her changing her birthday to get around it. Shame on Google for making it so easy. Don't trust their parental controls.

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u/djluminol May 13 '22

Wow, that's almost comically bad design.

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u/uraniumstingray May 14 '22

Bro that's so fucking stupid! I made my Twitter account when I was 1 month away from turning 13 and three years ago, at 22, I thought I could finally change my birthdate to my actual age but no, Twitter deleted my whole account that I'd had since 2008.

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u/Zenketski_2 May 13 '22

And considering how uninvolved most parents seem to be with their children's internet lives, how many parents do you think are actually utilizing this?

I mean isn't this entire conversation stemming from the fact that an underage child at access to an account they shouldn't have?

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u/meinblown May 13 '22

The Gmail thing is false. I have had a gmail set up for my daughter since she was born. It is age restricted and linked to my account.

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u/Zenketski_2 May 13 '22

And this entire conversation is stemming from the fact that a child at access to an account they shouldn't have been able to based on their age.

You're doing things right, obviously a lot of parents aren't. That's the only reason this conversation is happening

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u/GoldenFennekin May 13 '22

i always put the oldest age the site would let me just because it's funny to have the site think im a 100 year old man

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u/waste_yoot May 13 '22

I'm not naive in thinking people aren't lieing. Being online isn't a problem. It's social media (instagram, twitter, Facebook) that's the problem.

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u/Angdrambor May 13 '22

That's nothing; I was born in 1901.

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u/Vast-Combination4046 May 14 '22

I always thought it was weird when kids would make their child siblings myspace accounts. parents were making their kids Instagrams to show off baby pictures which I also had issues with.

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u/Cyborg_rat May 13 '22

I keep telling my wife this...but she lets her daughter use it anyway.

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22 edited May 15 '22

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u/djluminol May 13 '22

It never happened to me therefor it must not actually be a problem. Do you not the problem with the reasoning there? I agree with you that good parenting will avoid most of these issues but it's not a magic bullet and child safety requires a number of safety measure be in place for when the first line of defense fails to work.

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22 edited May 15 '22

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u/djluminol May 13 '22

I agree with all that. We had the same thing when I was kid. It was 7th grade, late 80's for me. I refused to do it because I figured the other guys would try and kick my ass while I was passed out. Because that's just the stuff guys do at that age. At least where I lived. I don't think anyone got seriously hurt but there was a few kids that moderately harmed themselves flopping around like a fish as they came to or when they fell over.

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u/waste_yoot May 13 '22

Ive never been in a car accident. Maybe seatbelts are useless?

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u/Arcade1980 May 13 '22

This was going on back in 1984 in grade 6 before handheld computers connected to the internet.

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u/paradise_lost9 May 14 '22

Sure it was but there are accelerants like Tik tok that increase the chances of your kin dying to some stupid challenge. Hence the point of this post. Which is sad…

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u/azanzel May 14 '22

Yeah, I remember all the neighborhood kids doing this to each other when we were in middle school in the mid 90’s. So unbelievably stupid even then. But interesting that we didn’t get these things targeted to us and we also didn’t have social media and a developed internet to see the consequences of it. So its easier to find the good and bad of these things nowadays.

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u/uraniumstingray May 14 '22

Yeah nowadays kids have the incentive to do this stupid shit and post it online for clout and possibly going viral. That wasn't possible even in the 00s so these challenges came around but quickly died out.

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u/drhuehue May 13 '22

Anyone read the article? Apparently this kid died from asphyxiation when she tried to hold her breathe as long as she could. First, I did not know it was even possible to die this way, but second - this has been something kids have been doing since the dawn of time and has nothing to do with tik tok

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u/colbymg May 13 '22

The mother said she rushed her to a local hospital Dec. 7, but that she died Dec. 12 due to her injuries.

I didn't know either, but looks like it caused an injury that later killed her, not directly oxygen-asphyxiation.

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u/drhuehue May 13 '22

Yeah i think the mother is trying to frame it as just oxygen deprivation death because apparently shes trying to fit it into the """"tik tok challenge"""" of holding your breath narrative even though its likely she died of something else.

I am pretty sure its impossible to just hold your own breath to death

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u/WastedLevity May 13 '22

Could be she held her breath, passed out and hit her head ok the way down

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u/IronHeart1963 May 14 '22

I did know a kid who did this so frequently as a ‘trick’ to get attention that he developed pretty severe epilepsy. I was in class with him when he did it and triggered his first ever seizure.

Now mind you, I have no idea how he managed to do that, but I guess if you kill off enough brain cells bad shit is bound to happen.

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u/Gisschace May 13 '22

Yep we used to do that in my classroom at breaks circa 1994/5 - all we had then were tamagotchis

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u/sixstringronin May 14 '22

all we had then were tamagotchis

Which explains the suicidal tendencies

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u/DoodMonkey May 13 '22

This was going on well before the TikToks

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u/zonchev May 13 '22

There was always stupid people in the world, but the issue is more the rate of increased incidents like these are on the rise and social media as a whole is like a breeding pool for these types of activies. Downfall of society.

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u/cowtow May 13 '22

But is the rate actually increasing, or does social media amplify the perception of such an increase by showing us examples from around the world?

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22

As much as I thoroughly hate social media, im betting kids did more dangerous stuff back in the day. Which is a good thing. Its the whole "saftey" culture discussion. My dad went hunting alone at 8, which seems crazy, but the hiking, climbing, and trespassing I did at 13 probably seems crazy to kids nowadays.

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u/cowtow May 13 '22

Indeed. The choking game was just as popular 20 years ago, after all. Everyone knew about it, few were stupid enough to do it, nothing has really changed.

The danger of social media is what it does to our ability to process reality, but that's also partially an audience issue. Media literacy needs to be taken much more seriously.

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u/SIGMA920 May 13 '22

It's amplifying the perception. The idiots always existed but now they have a larger voice and they are harder to hide away. That's both a good and bad thing because it means that people are more informed in general but it also means that stupid shit spreads more easily.

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u/rreeddrreedd May 13 '22

Yep. There were always stupid people doing stupid and dangerous things, but now they’re able to share it with the world and inspire other dumb people to try it too

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u/id59 May 13 '22

And when normal person got in environment with a lot of such stupid people - they are think that this is norm

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u/boringrick1 May 13 '22

I did this when I was 10. 30 years ago. My friend didn’t think I was out so he just dropped me on my face. I had a big rug burn on my face for school pictures. But I didn’t die, so that’s good.

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u/UnwrittenPath May 13 '22

Right? This type of thing has been circling the world long before the internet was mainstream, let alone social media.

On a side note, I lost the game.

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u/DesertTiger26 May 13 '22

Yup. I did this exact thing with my friends when I was 10 back in early 80’s. Social media just making spread faster and further

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u/Redneckshinobi May 13 '22

We used to play this at school 30 years ago before social media :( Glad nothing bad ever happened, but I remember a whole group of us doing this at recess.

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u/Mixture-Emotional May 13 '22

That's what I was thinking

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u/Tektons May 13 '22

You should hear the way 10 year olds talk in school now. Lots of talk of depression, suicide, and other crazy things that weren't even on anyones minds when I was 10.

It's very scary that some children are being truly emotionally damaged by social media without realizing it because well.. they're kids.

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u/Institutional-GUH May 13 '22

A 10 year old is probably reading this comment. Kids talk like adults by 12 these days

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u/id59 May 13 '22

So we are finally back to pre middle ages state

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u/Holy-Kush May 13 '22

Before you know it we'll get those pesky children to start working in the factories again!

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u/Exonicreddit May 13 '22

Adults also talk like children too, you can never know who your talking with.

(Most people stop learning their native language at the end of free school, that's the average age people communicate at)

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22

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u/jerekdeter626 May 13 '22

Stay in school!

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u/MMSLWYD May 13 '22

That's not what your mom said last night

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u/Beans_Technician May 13 '22

The suicide rate for early Gen Z and millennials is really high. With the younger Gen Z it will be insane I’ll bet

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u/Lopsided-Werewolf883 May 13 '22 edited May 13 '22

My 8 year old nephew just visited, I had to consistently interrupt and deflect what he was saying to my 5 year old. He’s an immature 8 and on the spectrum, so he got along well with his younger cousin and bonded over superheroes. Several times he started about how nothing makes him happy anymore, and that he’s always depressed, and even mentioned not wanting to be around anymore. The mom was totally indifferent to it all and acted like it was normal talk, but I kept jumping in and changing the subject since it’s the first time my kid would’ve heard anything like this. We’ve worked on expressing our emotions and “how our heart feels” with out 5 y/o, but was taken back by the 8 year old. 8 seemed way too young to be telling me that I looked depressed and like I needed therapy and to be on medication.

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u/techleopard May 13 '22

Social media is excellent at building echo chambers and silos. Fill those things with broken people and then let kids have free access to them. Of course they are going to be depressed or have a very warped perception of things.

Just look at Reddit. Many of the most popular subs -- disguised as areas for moral support and genuine advice and help -- are essentially a bunch of angsty teenagers advising children that the things that they very naturally are feeling frustrated about is in fact complete and utter abuse. Oh, did you parent make you use a phone with Life360 on it? That's an invasion of privacy! They should talk to you like an adult! It's abuse, you need to get out of there ASAP, call CPS!

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u/diffyqgirl May 13 '22

Social media is a mess, but I wish that the kids had talked about depression when I was 10. Then I would have had a word for how I was feeling. I might have known there was help. I just thought I was broken.

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u/owlthebeer97 May 13 '22

Yes same but with anxiety. I worried about everything all the time but just thought I was wierd.

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u/CrabWoodsman May 13 '22

My family and classmates mocked me for my hypersensitivity until I eventually learned to suppress and mask it.

In the bright side, it was a leg up for my drama classes.. lol

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u/jerekdeter626 May 13 '22

Yooooo same here! Like I have all of these super strong emotions at the ready, to the point where I can put myself in any state of mind I want, which makes acting a lot easier!

My family used to call me Johnny-be-Violent because I was very easily upset when someone was mean to me and it usually turned quickly to anger lol.

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u/Randym1982 May 13 '22

You know what was on my mind as a 10 year old? Wrestling. Ninja Turtle's, and why can't I beat Mega-Man X.

I don't really think I got depressed unless I had a dog run away or die. Or when my Hampster a the time died. Basically depression and sadness came from dealing with real life problems.

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u/stolid_agnostic May 13 '22

In my case, I had the misfortune of starting to see all of that when I was eight or nine. But there was nobody in the world to help me understand or put it into perspective. I just suffered in silence with no way to express or deal with how I felt.

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u/JuicyJonesGOAT May 13 '22

Good for you , i was suicidal from when i was 4 years old due to anti-epileptic medication.

Have you ever felt the need to kill yourself when everything is seemingly fine around you and your life is a blessing ?

I have to live a life knowing i will never be truly happy and there is nothing i can do about it.

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u/AccountWasFound May 13 '22

You didn't learn about real life problems in school at that age? I think I was like 9 when I first heard about school shootings being a thing to be worried about. Climate change was even earlier.

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u/Randym1982 May 13 '22

School Shootings started happening in the mid 2000's. So no. They weren't an issue in the early 90's. Hell they weren't an issue till after I graduated High school, and then became a thing a bit later.

In My High School. You used to be able to leave when you wanted to (for lunch) and the campus was essentially open. I saw what it looked like a few years back.. It was basically Alcatraz.

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u/AccountWasFound May 13 '22

I finished high school in 2017, so I was like 8 or 9 when the Virginia tech shooting happened. I'm part of the oldest year that has no real memories of 9/11, one of the last years to not have cell phones till the end of elementary school, my year was sorta a weird transition year between generations (as well as like 2 years on either side).

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u/NamelessTacoShop May 13 '22

Columbine happened in 1999, I was a Sophomore. That's the moment the terror of school shootings gripped the nation

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u/OperativePiGuy May 13 '22

That is scary. It makes me glad to know I squeaked by just before social media started toxifying multiple generations at once

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u/notbad2u May 13 '22

This whole world is emotionally damaged. Today's ten year olds are right to be depressed. Still, tictoc glorifies pretty much everything, which isn't really a good thing itself.

The people who pretend like everything's fine and will end better are broken - beyond damaged.

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u/posessedhouse May 13 '22

Not even, my son had a friend over when he was in primary (age 5) this kid was talking about all of that, including cutting. It was all very disturbing, and his older brother was only 7. I know didn’t understand what he was talking about and was just repeating things he probably heard on the internet, but it was jarring that he had even been exposed to it. I have felt like a lax parent at times but not to that extent

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u/BootySniffer26 May 13 '22

I've had 6 year olds say "I'm gonna kill myself" as a joke.

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u/BouncingBirdies May 13 '22

I think we've circled back around in history to eliminating childhood. Kids nowadays dress and act like really short adults instead of like kids.

And is it just me, or do kids these days look older at younger ages, too? I see kids walk out of the local middle school looking like high school seniors or college students and high schoolers that look like they graduated college already.

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u/InsertBluescreenHere May 13 '22

lol no i work around 18 year olds - look like they are 12 to me

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u/weckyweckerson May 13 '22

I agree but I also think 13-15yr olds look far more like 18 year olds than they did when I was at that age. Kids are outwardly maturing faster than ever, inwardly, same stupid kids.

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u/BouncingBirdies May 13 '22

Yeah, I can tell they're kids as soon as they open their mouths and start talking, but some of those kids look 20 and sound 12, it's really weird.

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u/DangerToDangers May 13 '22

You sure? I'm 35 and at least when I was around 12 we were already drinking and smoking. I really don't think much has changed in that regard. If anything tweens seem to be less into alcohol and more into video games and the internet.

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u/Virgins_Anonymous May 13 '22

Also, as a young person, funny climate change makes it hard to not be depressed

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u/Ares1935 May 13 '22

When I was 10, I worried about turning into a dinosaur. I have no clue why. I was 10... logic wasn't really in play.

I can't imagine all the things my mind would have tried to process today.

I'm not trying to squash anything, but I really do think we are planting seeds in impressionable minds that may grow into something that wasn't there before.

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u/Just4pun May 13 '22

It is a 100% sure way to get attention.

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u/msharma28 May 13 '22

Dude I'm not even kidding when I was around that age of 10 I did not even know what the concept of awkwardness was. I had never considered it until I got a little older. The things these kids are thinking about these days is way out of their league and age group.

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u/darkstriders May 13 '22

Why are they talking about suicide, depression, nowadays Z?

When I was t that age, I don’t have suicidal thoughts and so were many of my classmates. We all were more worried about how to get and the coolest marbles.

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u/daeronryuujin May 13 '22

Parents: "Here Suzie, a brand new smartphone with unlimited and completely unmonitored access to the entirety of the internet. Go wild."

Also parents: "my child saw internet content I didn't want her to, give me money and censor the internet."

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u/MoonshineMiracle May 13 '22

When I was 10 I watched Tub Girl and took it as a challenge to never eat dairy

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u/daeronryuujin May 13 '22

I always found it tough to consider any challenges while I had a raging erection but I respect your ability to do so.

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u/Bruisedbadgerbat May 13 '22

Dangerous challenges have always existed.

Why was her child on TikTok? It's explicitly labeled for 13+, like most social media. It's pretty easy nowadays to block sites and apps from your child's device(s). I've got a blanket block on the social media sites I know plus all content above a certain rating on my child's phone. Apple screentime makes it stupidly easy.

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u/Mixture-Emotional May 13 '22

Same, you can even get kids tablets that are just for parent approved apps games and even educational value

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u/criesatpixarmovies May 13 '22

Same. My kids have to request even a minute of screentime. Honestly it’s frustrating more devices (TVs, computers, and video game consoles) don’t have a similar way to block usage.

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u/Ezekiel_Blufur May 13 '22

It's not the algorithm's fault the parent couldn't keep their child safe from stupid challenges.

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u/Flop_777 May 13 '22

This will never stop until shit parents wise up to letting the internet raise their children

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u/Cartina May 13 '22

While the internet might make it more viral and stuff, I easily remember the "blackout" fixation/challenge/idea from the mid 90s school. Along with passing out from hyperventilation stuff. As the article mentions its been part of playgrounds for decades

Kids being kids, unfortunally the internet does make that pheonomenon worse and simply keeping your own kid away isn't always enough as the kid with too many google "reseasrch" points is gonna share these stupid ideas either way. You forget kids/teens thinks they are freaking invincible and peer pressure is like 50% of a many young teens life.

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u/SaraAB87 May 13 '22

We had sniffing glue, or basically anything you could out of an aerosol can and this was before the internet even existed. I think they had to remove all aerosol products from the school for safety reasons as the students were sneaking into the maintenance closet and grabbing random stuff and sniffing it.

There were other equally dangerous things such as chubby bunny, aka shoving as many marshmallows into your mouth as you could.

We also had flamethrowers, which was a can of aerosol hairspray and a cigarette lighter, very dangerous.

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u/MrsFef May 13 '22

This is horrible. Algorithms shouldn’t be raising your kids.

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u/funkboxing May 13 '22

At least kids raised on TV had programming chosen by actual humans that might think twice before exposing them to something outrageously dangerous.

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u/Dr-McLuvin May 13 '22

Yup good point.

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u/steepleton May 13 '22

Yeah i remember a kid jumped off a building after watching the six million dollar man do it in the 70’s

Kids are stupid, that’s just life

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u/SponConSerdTent May 13 '22

Yeah but the difference is that 6 million dollar man didn't say "JUMP OFF A ROOF CHALLENGE" with a bunch of internet points attached to every person who attempted it, giving social clout to those who did. It didn't show a bunch of 10 year olds jumping off the roof and surviving.

This is a lot more dangerous. Yes some stupid kids will attempt stupid things, but these algorithms and social media platforms make it far more likely.

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u/dirtydownstairs May 13 '22

I remember that!

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u/UnfilteredFluid May 13 '22

Tell the parents, not TikTok that.

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u/DaveyC34 May 13 '22

I’ve always hated this argument. It’s not a social media giants job to teach your kid common sense.

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u/kgeniusz May 13 '22

Reading the article, the “challenge” mentioned is the Blackout challenge. It’s when you do something (they specified in the article but I’m too lazy to go back and look) to knock yourself or a friend out. As someone who has previously been a child, this is not a new Tik Tok trend, or even new to the internet. Blaming social media shows just how disconnected from her kid this mother was. While Tik Tok totally has some of the blame of promoting dangerous activities to children, this mother is not 100% blameless. Also, 10 years old. Why, and more importantly, how, does a 10 year old have unrestricted and unmonitored access to a social media.

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u/dennismfrancisart May 13 '22

The problem with social media is that it feeds into our brain's automatic coping and survival mechanisms. We're hardwired as a species to react in certain ways. When stimulus hits us in a particular pattern at the right time, we can react in some interesting ways.

Group biases can screw up even the most intelligent person because the responses are right below the surface of our intellect. Teens are extremely susceptible to this because their brains are still at the stage of development where group biases can be powerful motivators.

There are a lot of articles out now about emotional intelligence. Humans may be intelligent but we all stull have our monkey brain and it is operating on survival mode. That's about the emotional level of an 8 year old. Social media can really screw us up when our guard is down.

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u/Electrical_Tip352 May 13 '22

My kids get pretty unmitigated access to the internet but aren’t allowed traditional social media access. It’s too toxic. But I strongly believe in teaching them how to interact with access that we’d could never dream of growing up. This is just the beginning of what they are going to have access to. I mean virtual worlds, AI, and integration of almost all things we use into the internet of things.

The only thing I can think of to prepare them for that is give them pretty free access, monitor what they do (not crazy style just check once a week ish), and talk talk talk about anything and everything. Porn, hate groups, cyber bullying, sex trafficking, access to information, banned books, library access, verifying sources, mis and dis information. I will say it does take time and energy though.

Who knows, maybe I’ll screw them all the way up. I think we all just do what we think is best.

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u/BallPtPenTheif May 13 '22

I think it varies from kid to kid. My kids have always been pretty awesome at consuming media without having it absorb it into their personality.

The dismissive arrogant thing would be to say, "Some kids are weak and impressionable, not my kids." In truth, I just think some kids have a knack for getting absorbed into whatever they're into, and that can be a great trait to have. Especially when it coincides with a passion that you can nurture and develop. The flip side to that coin is that they can get into some dumb and dangerous stuff.

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22

I hate tiktok. This isnt tiktoks fault. Its bad parenting for giving her child a device

And 2 the child for being dumb

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u/Disgruntled_Armbars May 13 '22

It's not a company's fault that you and your kid are both incompetent.

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u/RavynArcadia May 13 '22

So irresponsible parent doesn’t monitor what their daughter does and daughter proceeds to unalive herself accidentally. Sounds like the mother should have talked to her daughter more about not doing stupid shit people do on the internet.

Hopefully I didn’t already post on this page already.

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u/fatalbert491 May 13 '22

I’m pretty sure TikTok doesn’t even allow people under the age of 13 to use their platform, doesn’t sound like they have much of a case.

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u/PM_ME_COMMON_SENSE May 13 '22

My kid gonna have a Nokia until junior year high school lol

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u/Supernova9898 May 13 '22 edited May 14 '22

I feel that social media platforms just amplifies the toxic trends that reaches to the people who are clueless about it. People should be encouraged to stay away from the social media and I feel lucky that it was not around when I was a kid.

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u/Beardeddeadpirate May 13 '22

TikTok is the worst but parents really should be in charge of helping their children make the right choice.

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u/LegalBrandHats May 14 '22

I’m sure the mother did all she could for her child. Dam those apps.

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u/MrVWeiss May 13 '22

Sure. Blame not their own neglect and their kids' stupidity, but Tiktok. Bravo!

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u/horndoguwu May 13 '22

Maybe dont give your kid a phone to parent them and do it yourself

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u/xabhax May 13 '22

That's crazy talk. Are you suggesting she take responsibility for not monitoring her child's internet use?

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u/Bigcomplainer May 13 '22

If tiktok is raising your kids you don’t deserve to have children

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u/Envect May 13 '22

More like the kids don't deserve you as their parent. The poor kids never get a say. They just get to carry that with them into life and cause more trauma for other people.

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u/zuzu2022 May 13 '22

The choking challenge was around when I was a kid. (I'm 28 now) there were 2 kids that I knew who died from it. It's awful.

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u/xabhax May 13 '22

I'm 40 and remember doing this when I was a kid

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u/Denbi53 May 13 '22

There is no way I would allow my 10 yr old to be on tik tok. Also, when I mentioned this challenge to her she made a face and said "the people doing that must be stupid, that sounds dangerous"

Teach your kids to think people.

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u/Rifter0876 May 13 '22

People will blame anyone or anything instead of taking responsibility for their actions nowadays eh, its sad.

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22

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u/PranavYedlapalli May 13 '22

It's the lazy parents' fault. Why is a 10 yr old on social media?

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u/[deleted] May 13 '22

People that use TikTok are doomed to be dumb anyways

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u/DarthWookiee189 May 13 '22

There are some real arseholes in this comment section

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u/Baronwm May 13 '22

jeez... its almost like parents should take even a passing interest in their children.... ya know.... before they die and become your next meal ticket.

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u/BitcoinSatosh May 13 '22

If her daughter tripped on the floor, she will blame the contractor who created the floor.

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u/Methadras May 13 '22

Tiktok's algorithm thinks that all i should be seeing is boobs. That's nearly my entire feed now. I can't reset it in any meaningful way. I don't care, but come on.

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u/Dynas_ May 13 '22

Whatever happened to: "If you friends told you to jump off a bridge, would you?" I guess the answer to that today is yes.

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u/AnAngryPolarBear May 13 '22

“Mother blames TikTok for her bad parenting”

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u/sparty212 May 13 '22

Guess that answers the question, “If all your friends jumped off a bridge, would you do it”.

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u/h3rpad3rp May 13 '22 edited May 13 '22

Its was a blackout/choke out challenge. It really sucks that a little kid died over it, but kids don't need tiktok to do stupid shit like this.

Intentionally blacking yourself out or choking someone else out has been a thing long before social media. Kids were doing it when I was a kid like 25 years ago. I'm sure kids have been doing it for a lot longer than that.

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u/Maplethor May 14 '22

Kids are not supposed to be on TikTok.

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u/Business_Ranger4055 May 14 '22

Anybody will do anything for a quick buck. TikTok is a tool; like guns, you can sue the maker for user error.

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u/somethingaboutwhales May 14 '22

Who the fuck lets their 10 year old on tik tok?

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u/woolypully May 14 '22

No. Apparently you not teaching your kid to make better choices and not parenting lead to this outcome. This wreaks of blaming video games for violence. Bunch of BS.