r/shitposting 14d ago Silver 9 Wholesome 4 Helpful 4

It's over prince Andr..I mean Florian WARNING: BRAIN DAMAGE

49.8k Upvotes

u/QualityVote 14d ago

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Whilst you're here, Randolph-, why not join our public discord server?

492

u/avaemc 13d ago

Yall don't wanna read the original brother grim tale it's based on. Don't know why Walt disney picked that to turn into a kids story.

283

u/AReal_Human 13d ago

Most original "fairy tales" are quite fucked up. Usually made to teach kids a lesson.

67

u/FrostyFiction98 13d ago

Peter Pan is based on the Greek Pan who would lure orphaned boys into the woods with his flute and have sex with them

25

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

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217

u/IrgendeinIndividuum 13d ago

Eyes are overrated.

60

u/Romae_Imperium 13d ago

What was so fucked up in the original one? I haven’t read it

114

u/driganox 13d ago

I believe he impregnates her with 2 children while she’s asleep

96

u/yyNOORyy 13d ago

No that one was the sleeping beauty one

39

u/CPhandom 13d ago

wow...

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u/avaemc 11d ago

Basically every male character r**** her at some point. Funnily enough my catholic school recommended we read this for drama class??¿??

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11

u/BerkofRivia 13d ago

It’s not that bad, worst part is when they make the queen wear red-hot heels and dance in them till she dies, but that’s at the end as the punishment for the evil, and yeah it’s cruel but it’s to be expected and easy to tone down.

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1.7k

u/Tattoomyvagina 14d ago

Well how long was she asleep for? Maybe this creepy fuck was waiting at the edge of the forest, checking his sundial for the moment she became legal?

441

u/CAC-Sama 13d ago

You know what they say

291

u/GuyNekologist 13d ago

heigh-ho's before hoes

57

u/[deleted] 13d ago

And off to work he goes

115

u/grvisgr8 13d ago

If she's on the clock she's ready for the glock?

51

u/VirtualPantsu 13d ago

She dodged a bullet there God damn idk how she lived past 12

38

u/WATER_CARBOY 13d ago

Early cock gets the pussy?

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264

u/Dazzling-Read6141 13d ago

There wasn't a legal age back then , any woman that hit puberty is legal

135

u/radonLKY 13d ago

So ur honor, its not illegal to have sex with th

93

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61

u/AllIcouldaFORD 13d ago

Kevin has spoken

5

u/tkTheKingofKings 13d ago

e neighbor’s dishwasher

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64

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

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u/arfelo1 13d ago

Back then in the Disney medieval fantasy times?

50

u/SlavCat09 13d ago edited 13d ago

Snow White was originally published in 1812. Disney was founded in 1923.

15

u/homerjaysimpleton 13d ago

I had no clue. I wonder what other story's Disney had lifted but I am also not caring enough to look it up.

36

u/SlavCat09 13d ago

All of them pretty much. Well at least all of their 'classics'.

2

u/CactusCracktus 13d ago

It was basically their business model to take old classic Fairy Tales and make their own version that usurped the originals in popularity and essentially make classic stories into their registered trademark. The classic Grimm Fairy tales and the story of Aladdin were both pre-established folk stories that have essentially been pilfered and turned into money wells for the mouse people.

15

u/ncopp 13d ago

Almost every major animated Disney movie from before 2000 was taken from public domain.

Cinderella, Pinocchio, sleeping beauty, Alladin, Beauty and the beast, hunchback, Tarzan and more

3

u/[deleted] 13d ago

wait Tarzan? what was wrong with Tarzan? (sorry i'm just curious)

7

u/ncopp 13d ago edited 13d ago

Nothing wrong with it, I'm just saying these are works that Disney borrowed from the public domain and were not original ideas or takes on the idea (Like Lion King being an original take on Hamlet) - just straight remakes of old stories. Tarzan being an amimated movie adaption of the old books which also had live action movies and radio shows from the early 20th century

2

u/[deleted] 13d ago

oh ok, i see

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u/Just_Games04 Big chungus wholesome 100 13d ago

Most of them tbh

8

u/Alaric- 13d ago

Pretty much all of them. The lion king is the story of Hamlet

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u/TheRealShadow 13d ago

I think the Little Mermaid actually ended with Eric not choosing Ariel so she became sea mist or something like that.

2

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u/GonPostL 13d ago

They didn't wait for puberty.....

46

u/Mortress_ 13d ago edited 13d ago

Source on that? Because people didn't really marry that young on average. Unless you are talking about marriage contracts, when you would "marry" a 8 year old princess to a 20 year old king from another land to make an alliance. But those marriages weren't consumated until the woman was way past puberty.

20

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Do you have a source on that?

Source?

A source. I need a source.

Sorry, I mean I need a source that explicitly states your argument. This is just tangential to the discussion.

No, you can't make inferences and observations from the sources you've gathered. Any additional comments from you MUST be a subset of the information from the sources you've gathered.

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Correlation does not equal causation.

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3

u/Levi-Action-412 13d ago

I think betrothal was the word?

2

u/Mortress_ 13d ago

Yeah, I couldn't remember that word so i just went with "mariage contract" lmao.

-3

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

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I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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2

u/Moepius 13d ago

At least in Germany the legal age is not as restrictive as in the US.

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15

u/DoosKopp 13d ago

If her age is on the sundial then she's ready for the defile

24

u/ilomilo8822 13d ago

Just looked it up, she was dead, the prince fell in love with her dead body and kissed her dead body aswell.

14

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me haven’t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friend’s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her don’t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like let’s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didn’t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I don’t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both haven’t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I don’t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of y’all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub

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u/[deleted] 13d ago

[deleted]

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u/SeventhSolar 13d ago

It's AutoModerator, dummy, its sole purpose is to shitpost incessantly.

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u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Hello I'm currently a student in Central Fortinayt University of Somalia studying the Art of Shitposting. I'm also an intern working for a company called cum. I got an assignment from my boss who is a really pretty lady and I wanted to impress her. She wanted me to post literal shit here. So I got on my computer and stole someones meme then proceeded to add Saul to it. Then I posted it here and waited for video to process. I literally came twice before the video even managed to finish processing. Then immediately got a flaccid one cause my post got deleted. Now my boss won't have sex with me because I suck. I lost my only shot at losing virginity all because of KEVIN !!!!

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u/AutoModerator 14d ago

My mom fucked my friend while we were on vacation and now I want to fucking die, she mom took us to Miami for a spring break vacation. Everything seemed normal when we were there and when we got back. But then rumors started. They spread all throughout my school and a bunch of kids asked me if my mom really had sex with a student. Of course I denied it. Until my close friend who was there told me. He told me one of the nights we went down to the hotel pool and said friend stayed up, saying he wanted to go to bed early. He stayed up there and then something happened and my mom slept with him. I feel sick to my stomach and so mad writing it. I confronted her and she admitted and tried to apologize, but I just can’t with her. She’s so disgusting. I’m contemplating just telling my dad so he can fly me up to his house, but I hate being around his dumb bimbo gold digging girlfriend. I want to fight that fucking asshole that did this. He’s ruining my fucking life.

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u/Lahmacun-el_Kebab 13d ago

F for AutoModerator

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427

u/BananabreadShane 14d ago

Prince Floridian

85

u/homerjaysimpleton 13d ago

It's Florida man stories all the way down.

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u/TH3Generate 13d ago

Florida Man

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361

u/OddNovel565 14d ago

When was the cartoon released?

259

u/Boks1RE 13d ago

1943 I believe

259

u/Veggiematic 13d ago

Add each of these digits up and it’s still under 18

90

u/k_u_r_o_r_o 13d ago

Well if you add 1 and 8, together it makes 9

52

u/BigToober69 13d ago

99year olds. 9 plus 9 is 18. So with this logic only 99 year olds are legal.

31

u/TheGreatTave 13d ago

Just the way I like em

10

u/EarlGrey_Picard 13d ago

100 year olds aren't though.

7

u/lowerlight 13d ago

But only for a year

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u/SlavCat09 13d ago
  1. You were close.

26

u/Exotic-Lengthiness62 13d ago

He be whippin blacks off camera

21

u/badalchemist85 13d ago

that's so 1850's, by 1940 they upgraded to hangings

12

u/Just_Games04 Big chungus wholesome 100 13d ago

1938, but the original goes way back to 1812

6

u/bigpont 13d ago

It came out in 1937

8

u/Acrobatic_Bug_7019 13d ago

I came in 1937

2

u/Userwillnotdisclose 13d ago

it was released in 1937

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u/coachjonesz 13d ago

Being a wealthy member of society he probably got away with it like American politicians

19

u/BladedNinja23198 13d ago

Also with the time setting of the story, they probably had different standards.

10

u/MAVvH 13d ago

Even for the time (18th century) marriages were typically at 16. Only in very specific circumstances (e.g. betrothed aristocrats) would marriages occur before 16. So this prince MF found a random 14 yo and kissed her WHILE SHE WAS UNCONSCIOUS.

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u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

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u/KillerRogue 13d ago

These guys think the people in medieval times waited for women to turn 18 to marry them, how cute.

23

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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u/Dakillakan 13d ago

This is a pretty pernicious myth, marriage for normal folk was still in the twenties. It was only the nobility marrying people off for alliances that makes us think everyone did that.

https://internetshakespeare.uvic.ca/Library/SLT/society/family/marriage.html

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u/WMX0 13d ago edited 13d ago

He said Medieval, that's just the Renaissance. While I don't know the average, it was common for both boys and girls to marry right after puberty during that time.

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u/Puzzled_Fish_2077 13d ago

Child marriage was a thing

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u/Lord-Liberty 13d ago

Didn't the guy impregnate her in the original story instead of a kiss?

60

u/Bedda_R 13d ago

No, that's Sleeping Beauty.

The King (not the prince) finds Sleeping Beauty and gathers the first fruits of love and then he just leaves. Sleeping Beauty gave birth and the baby bit her in the nipple while breastfeeding. The bite woke her up.

A truly romantic story.

32

u/Junglejibe 13d ago

Wasn’t it that the baby tried suckling her finger and just so happened to suckle out the cursed needle that was keeping her asleep?

20

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

slowly massage the vag, then rub the clitoris ever so gently. Proceed to stick a single finger in the vagina. continue adding your fingers until your whole fist is in. slide your arm slowly into her, once you reach your shoulder limbo in with your head, and forcibly insert your other arm, torso, and legs. You are now free to control her. when you feel the job is done, finish by giving birth to yourself

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u/TheRedMaiden 13d ago

B..bad bot...

14

u/-Fischy- 13d ago

please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns

Yeah what the actual fuck?!

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u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Joe Biden’s America

LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE:

9:00: GAY LESON!!

9:45: how to be be GAYY!!

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11:15: GAY RECESS!!

11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!

12:45: GAY LESON!!!

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THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT!

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208

u/MrDTD 13d ago

Indeed, she woke up from her child nursing, not a kiss.

166

u/anonymous145387 13d ago

You two are thinking of Sleeping Beauty.

90

u/Electric_Nachos 13d ago

Yeah isnt that how she woke up? The baby sucked out the splinter that was keeping her asleep.

47

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Schödinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmösome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?

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u/Numptie88 13d ago

Disturbing bot

9

u/Tejus_Potatus 13d ago

what the fuck

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u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Joe Biden’s America

LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE:

9:00: GAY LESON!!

9:45: how to be be GAYY!!

10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!!

11:15: GAY RECESS!!

11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!

12:45: GAY LESON!!!

1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!!

2:15: BLM PERIOD!!!

3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!!

3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!

THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT!

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u/AutoModerator 13d ago

What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me haven’t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friend’s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her don’t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like let’s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didn’t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I don’t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both haven’t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I don’t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of y’all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub

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8

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Joe Biden’s America

LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE:

9:00: GAY LESON!!

9:45: how to be be GAYY!!

10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!!

11:15: GAY RECESS!!

11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!

12:45: GAY LESON!!!

1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!!

2:15: BLM PERIOD!!!

3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!!

3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!

THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT!

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12

u/Exotic-Lengthiness62 13d ago

I'm gonna go read that now

8

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me haven’t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friend’s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her don’t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like let’s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didn’t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I don’t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both haven’t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I don’t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of y’all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub

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26

u/[deleted] 14d ago

[deleted]

5

u/Fettibomba-- 13d ago

So its still legal to this day

1

u/Mario-OrganHarvester 13d ago

Hence the prince is called florian

age of consent is still 18 though

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22

u/jrh_101 13d ago

Florida man strikes again

120

u/justranadomperson 14d ago

Animemes tier meme

57

u/Daddyn-noob 13d ago

Childhood ruined

11

u/RexyDubby 13d ago

enjoy the pain as I do

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14

u/SwimmerKooky52 14d ago

Hey Prince Florian!

62

u/Eddie_The_White_Bear 13d ago

Well, it was perfectly normal back in the Middle Age tho

20

u/rock-solid-armpits 13d ago

You needed to put the "fbi: "

56

u/HyperOne88 14d ago

Uhm, They might be coming after me, too.

46

u/Guiderlippi 14d ago

Coming for the cum

2

u/Zekiz4ever 13d ago

This is my kingdom cum

28

u/therobothingy 14d ago

🤨📸📸

5

u/Mario-OrganHarvester 13d ago

Because of the name?

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5

u/AllIcouldaFORD 13d ago

Wait she’s 14??

8

u/DisappointingReality 13d ago

Wait til you know about the other Disney princesses (Jasmine being 15, Ariel and Mulan being 16, etc). Though at 14, Snow White seems to be the youngest.

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u/ghostmetalblack 13d ago

Prince Florian is a Reddit Mod?? 😳

2

u/Luxembourglover 13d ago

He plays genshin

3

u/GigiJenga 13d ago

That's impossible since he surely has touched grass

2

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

It was a saturday afternoon, and I was exhausted after an intense 17-part masturabation session to dream minecraft manhunt, when i suddenly had the urge to go outside. I was scared. It's been so long since i've left the warmth of my parents basement with my dream body pillows. I didnt know what to expect. Clutching my dream figurine in front of my chest, i pried open the door to the outside world. The gleaming sun blared through the door, bequeathing a brilliant warmth on my cum-covered boxers. I quaverly took a step outside. My body flintched from the strange feel of the dirt under my feet. And then i saw it. The lustrous field of grass, covered in a light sprinkle of water from the noon rain shower. And then i realized. Dream... grass... the trees... it was all coming together. Grass is green, just like Dream. Dream is everpresent, in the grass, the flowers, He was there. I immediately new what to do next. I flinged off my clothes faster than the speed at which i would click on a new dream rule 34 post. My dick was already throbbing as i leaped onto the field of grass, dorito dust stained shirt getting carried away by the wind. I dug a small hole in the ground, and passionately thrust my 7-inch erect cock into it. I knew, this was Dream. His spirit was in this grass, and he felt my dick in his man pussy as i fucked that grass. I lost track how long i was there. Hours went by, day turned to night, but it didnt matter. I was finally together, with Dream. Nothing could separate us. I took a long stem of a flower, and forced it in my asshole. I imagined it being Dream's hot penis being lustfully forced into me in bed. I stayed there on my front yard for god knows how long. Until my butt was sore, balls drier than the Saharan desert after a long drought. The lawn looked like there was a layer of fresh snow on a Christmas morning. Trudging indoors, i had a enormous smile stretching across my face. I couldn't wait until tomorrow, when i may go outside again and be with Dream.

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13

u/YourFavoriteBranch 13d ago edited 13d ago

Actually Florian was 17-18 years old, but that doesn't make it less creepy about the whole kissing scene. I mean sure you knew the chick and she seemed to knew you, and you guys clearly had a thing for one another as seen in the beginning of the film, but you don't just attend your crush's funeral and kiss her while she is still in the casket. Also what would he have done if Snow didn't woke up, like you look back at the dwarfs who were wepping for her and go "Wanna help you guys burry her ?"

2

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

What the fuck did I just do. So my ex n me haven’t spoken in two year, although I did wish her on her birthday two months ago. We live in the same building and whenever we cross each other we just exchange smiles and do the usual hi whatsup how r u and I walk away. Today was Holi (a festival where ppl dance and apply powdered color on each other) so I decided not to celebrate it in my building cause I knew she would be down so I went to my friend’s building and ten minutes later I saw her there. I was like oh fuck this is going to be a bad idea. Later we again exchanged a hi and then I went away. Later when the festival started she kept applying permanent color (last three days on the skin) on me and my friends. I told her don’t apply on my friends they will get pissed. She kept applying on me and I tackled her and applied color on her too. It felt good. Then she was like let’s go dance so we were dancing to Senorita from znmd and then we had a moment and she was like we are going to kiss and I was like yes and we kissed. It just felt amazing. Then we kissed again. After that I was going to my friends and she was like listen and then I turned back and kissed again. Then we kissed again😭😭. After all this my friends were dancing and I was sitting in the pool and she came and sat on top of me and we were having a very good conversation about our relationship and how we both didn’t date anybody after breaking up. We spoke about our problems, joked about them and then..yes u guessed it right. After this the cycle repeated and we had a beer and she handed me her phone and was like unblock yourself. She followed me and added me to her close friends. Later she was leaving we kissed once more and in my head I was like fuck do I love her, we should date. But then I told myself no, whatever this was I don’t know but no you are not breaking your heart again. I came back home and we both haven’t had any interaction apart from the fact she liked my story. I AM NOT IN LOVE. i am telling this to myself again and again because no, just no. I am happy being alone with myself. Or maybe I like her but I don’t want to go back to all that Edit: thanks for the response some of y’all and thanks for helping me. Other ppl: fuck u;) I am not here to prove anything and anyways I am quitting this sub

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

2

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Joe Biden’s America

LIBRAL SCOOL BE LIKE:

9:00: GAY LESON!!

9:45: how to be be GAYY!!

10:30: TRANS LERNINNG!!

11:15: GAY RECESS!!

11:45: CROSDRESING HOUR!!

12:45: GAY LESON!!!

1:30: TRANGENER LUNCH!!

2:15: BLM PERIOD!!!

3:00: COMUNIS T HISTORY!!

3:30: TAKE NON BINAR BUS HOME!!

THIS IS WHAT THE LEFT WANT!

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

3

u/KyellDaBoiii 13d ago

Middle ages

4

u/manscary12 13d ago

Bro he was just there for the cupcakes 💀

10

u/Pro_MEMER568 13d ago

More like prince EDP

6

u/Electronic-Regret484 13d ago

He just came for some cupcakes apples.

3

u/Filipico_w3 13d ago

“Um, akchually, shinshe the time that shnow white wash taken from a long time ago slurps saliva she would have been legal shince women her age would have already married.” 🤓

2

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

Looking for a female roommate to pay $0 rent

I will not charge you money. but I will be sharing my bed with you as the other room is being used by my parents. They are aware of this arrangement as I have done this before but it has not worked out for reason I rather not say on here. I will except hugs at least 5 times a day, and cuddles at least 2 times a day for at least 10 minutes each. You will not be dating any other man during this arrangement. you will have no male friends either. You may have female friends and they May visit if they like. You will also be required to make me meals 3 times a day. Phsyical requirements are as stated: Must be shorter than 5'5", weigh no more than 120 lbs, caucasian or asian only, republican, no tattoos, no vegans, no smoking/vaping, marrywania, and you MUST shave legs and underarms. I am 44-male/290 lbs last time I checked, 5'6". Please contact me if you would like this arrangement.

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3

u/lejoo 13d ago

Just remember not fucking children is a relatively modern culture shift for humans (<500 years)

As soon as people started living past 40 the whole having children as soon as possible thing wasn't as pressing.

3

u/thecrazyslopoke 13d ago

People always lived past 40.

There was a lot of death in the first year or two and that brought the average down. But if you made it past those first couple years you were good.

3

u/Ameriskanish 13d ago

When the remake it in live action, Prince Florian will be the perfect role for Ezra Miller.

3

u/Kitsune_1234 13d ago

Why is this more popular than the fact that he kissed a random corpse that he found in the woods

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u/RelativeAnxious9796 13d ago

don't ask how old joseph was in the bible when he married mary. :D

2

u/ikscodi001 13d ago

"Florian open the door."

2

u/Meestasqueed 13d ago

Fun fact: A lot of the “Disney classics” were originally popularized by the Grimm brothers, a pair of German writers who collected a bunch of old folk tales and wrote them into a pair of volumes back in the late 18th-early 19th century. These stories were WAY darker than how they are now retold. Rapunzel, Hansel and Gretel, Snow White, The frog prince, and Rumplestiltskin are german folk tales that they wrote retellings of. There are other stories that they wrote that are retellings of older stores from other parts of Europe, Tom Thumb and Sleeping Beauty are among those.

2

u/JJTravels 13d ago

Put an NSFW tag on this the comments are a little outa hand

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u/Imonandroid 13d ago

That's fine the beast is the hottest in that movie

1

u/spaceodyssey2 13d ago

Age of consent in Europe is 14 so I don't know why people are freaking out about a German fairy tail.

12

u/ManholtAgain 13d ago

You realize that doesn't really make it less creepy right? A 14-year-old girl is still a child, and it's still weird.

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u/Flo312 13d ago

For two underaged people yes, but 31 years? Still straight to jail

2

u/spaceodyssey2 13d ago

Nope. If they don‘t hold a position of power like a teacher for example it‘s ok. Even if they‘re a teacher it‘s still not a big deal. Just think of Macron and his wife.

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u/ChuckCarmichael 13d ago

Jasmin in Aladdin is 15. If you think she looks hot, please turn yourself in. Also Aladdin is 18, so please take him with you to the police.

17

u/Lollex56 13d ago

I sense a strong lack of bitches

I'm just saying, 15 and 18 sounds like a fairly normal relationship to me. At least it's not unheard of. Besides they were muslims they weren't gonna smash until they married.

1

u/AutoModerator 13d ago

No bitches?

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u/AggressiveBait 13d ago

Juliet is 13 in Romeo and Juliet.

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-1

u/[deleted] 13d ago

Calm down its fake

6

u/Exotic-Lengthiness62 13d ago

It's not though

4

u/DinoRaawr 13d ago

The man didn't even have a name in the film, let alone an age

5

u/ElderDark 13d ago

Most of the Disney classics are based on books. Books made by the Grimm brothers. So it's possible that the age in said books was the ones displayed here.

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u/Zekiz4ever 13d ago

It's not about the film. I think. It has been a long time since I read it the last time.

0

u/Lustiges_Brot_311 13d ago

Well back, then being 14 was essentially 36 in the modern age. She was basically gonna be infertile a fee years later. Or was she? I'm just asking questions.

7

u/randomguywithmemes 13d ago

That is not even remotely how biology works

4

u/itsmeyourgrandfather 13d ago

The average life expectancy being like 30 in the middle ages doesn't mean people were dying of old age at 30. It was that low because so many people died as babies and children that it lowered the average. Like if you made it past childhood you were probably going to live into your 40s and 50s at least, and lots of people lived longer. A lot of women and men would have been fertile up until their deaths.

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u/Python0721 13d ago

This sub has gone to shit

-1

u/BalinTheMaster 13d ago

Its legal in my country :D

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1

u/AggressiveBait 13d ago

It's the same for most of these fairy tales.

1

u/HejiraLOL 13d ago

Was just normal back then.

1

u/Walid918 13d ago

aight who is prince andrew and what did he do?