r/Jokes May 27 '22 LOVE! 1 Heartwarming 1 Wholesome Seal of Approval 1 Wholesome (Pro) 1 Silver 12 Gold 2 Helpful 16 Wholesome 26

How many Texas cops does it take to save children from an active shooter? Long

Still under investigation.

Edit: For those who assume I think any part of this situation is funny... https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Black_comedy. Also who gave me a Wholesome award? That's seriously messed up.

Edit 2: For those claiming it's "too soon"... I respectfully disagree, I think this is the perfect time. The pain won't ever go away for those families - there will never be a time when they'll think "Sure, it's been long enough - go ahead and laugh about it." However, the anger and shock felt by the general public will begin to fade as other news stories and other tragedies steal our attention. Better to elicit stronger emotions now and hopefully, in a tiny imperceptible way, increase the likelihood of meaningful change.

34.0k Upvotes

939

u/series-hybrid May 27 '22

SWAT = Sit. Wait. Act Tough

350

u/Lourdes_Humongous May 27 '22

Shit, We're All Talk

101

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

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38

u/HairyBallsOfTheGods May 28 '22

Sorry We're Always Training

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u/werd516 May 27 '22

Sit, wait, allow terrorism

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u/Bgwin85 May 28 '22

SWAT - Sorry We Ain't There

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u/ImOkReally May 28 '22

Sorry We’re Afraid Too

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u/Schrodingers0therCat May 28 '22

Sit With Ass on Thumb.

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u/iotashan May 27 '22 Silver Gold Wholesome Bravo!

I didn't realize that "Don't mess with Texas" was a plea, not a statement.

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u/StuTheSheep May 27 '22 This

Believe it or not, that phrase was originally an anti-littering campaign.

800

u/bigbluehapa May 27 '22

Wait what?? That’s amazing.

514

u/Mr_Dudester May 27 '22

That's amazing. Texas police? Not so much

73

u/Floodingturds May 27 '22

Too bad they didn’t call the rednecks.

115

u/ovaltine_spice May 27 '22

For what? Where's those jackoffs parading around their open carries when these things happen.

They ain't shit

41

u/wise1296 May 27 '22 edited May 28 '22

The parents were actively wanting to get in because they saw all the cops just fucking standing around with their dicks in their hands outside and none of them where going into the fucking school to neutralize the threat. The cops weren't letting anyone in.

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u/Graterof2evils May 27 '22

The one getting paid was off campus. I want to know what’s up with that and why no one was covering for them if it was authorized.

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u/needlenozened May 27 '22

I don't know how it is there, but where I am one SRO covers a high school, a middle school, and several elementary schools.

16

u/Graterof2evils May 27 '22

Til. I thought Texas was the good guys with guns state though and would make sure this was funded. It sounds like being at the right place when your job requires is a roll of the dice. I wonder why the police didn’t mention the responsibilities of the officer in question at the briefing this morning? It should be known by now. It’s a sad and confusing situation all around.

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u/midnighfox696 May 28 '22

Getting arrested if they carry their gun onto the campus. Wasn't it a completely unrelated border patrol agent that stopped the shooting with his own personal handgun?

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u/Lord_Scribe May 27 '22

Missouri's was originally Missouri Loves Company. Well, not really, but it could have been.

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u/Superlite47 May 27 '22

It still can be!

Missouri loves petitions!

Enough signatures, and you can have almost anything put on an election ballot.

There's always crackpot measures that have been successfully championed, adopted as Proposition "x", and opened for voting during state elections.

Get enough signatures, a ballot proposition, AND enough votes and you can get the state motto changed!

I doubt it will succeed, but it's a better idea than many Propositions I've seen make it to the voting booth.

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u/jlabsher May 27 '22

Missouri the "Blow Me" state.

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u/Scuta44 May 27 '22

In the Army early 90s in Texas, EVERYONE would say ‘don’t mess with Texas’ as they tossed something out the window of their vehicle.

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u/RevolutionaryAct59 May 27 '22

no one should ever toss anything out the window of their vehicle, the world is not your garbage can

19

u/needlenozened May 27 '22

Thankfully, almost everybody today realizes that. In the 80s and 90s, that sentiment was not nearly as widespread. Roadside litter was common.

In about 1987, I was driving a friend in my car and he threw something out the window. He was flabbergasted when I pulled over and made him go pick it up.

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u/SSide67 May 27 '22

Had a buddy from Georgia who would tell us it was only proper to throw trash out of the car o to someone's lawn "because then you know someone will pick it up"....

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u/setibeings May 27 '22

While I find this interesting, I don't think I can upvote it.

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u/Fenpunx May 27 '22

I thought LGBT was originally an anti-littering campaign. There were rainbows, flowers and the slogan, 'Let's Get Britain Tidy.'

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u/gorka_la_pork May 27 '22

I thought an LGBT was what happened if you added guac to a BLT.

29

u/Rhameolution May 27 '22

We called it a BLAT but that was just avacado.

20

u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[deleted]

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u/LordOfCastamerde May 27 '22

Yes, and Texans know that. I always get the assumption that people think that we think that it isn't from the anti-littering campaign. It was all over our TVs and media during the 90s, the only people that seemed shocked about it aren't from here.

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u/Dustin_Echoes_UNSC May 27 '22

We get similar "revelatory" comments here about the song "Sweet Home Alabama" being intended as satire.

We know. Whether you're in the "Don't care, still a bop" or "That's why we like it" camp... We all know.

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u/Candelestine May 27 '22

New people arrive on the internet every day. Fresh reactions to old content are a feature, not a bug.

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u/Ridinglightning5K May 27 '22

Are you saying that song was written as satire? I’ve never heard anyone claim it was satire.

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u/alyssasaccount May 27 '22

How is "Sweet Home Alabama" a satire in any meaningful sense of the term?

Was it glorifying segregation and the oppression of black people in general? No. Of course not.

But it was certainly, albeit in a goodnatured manner, telling Neil Young to not be the condescending jerk he was in "Southern Man", and more broadly telling northerners that in general: "Watergate does not bother me — does your conscience bother you?" — i.e., you all voted for Nixon too (well fine, except Massachusetts), so don't go around condemning an entire state just because its elected leaders are awful.

I don't know how anyone understands that as "satire".

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u/Unhappy_Result_5365 May 27 '22

What? Sweet Home Alabama isn't satire...

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u/Verbal_Combat May 27 '22

The “Lone Star” is actually a review.

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u/whileurup May 27 '22

I've never heard this and I love it.

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u/PenTaFH May 27 '22

"Don't tread on me, tread on the kids in that school over there"

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u/KlingoftheCastle May 27 '22

Don’t tread on me, children make much better targets

11

u/sleepless_in_balmora May 27 '22

Shooter fucked around and didn't find out

29

u/Quest4life May 27 '22

the real joke is always in the comments

16

u/cfdeveloper May 27 '22

The real jokes are working for texas police agencies.

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u/hyperprapor May 27 '22

I was expecting: "no one knows, it never happened" line.

181

u/Iced_Coffee_IV May 27 '22

I was expecting "I'll tell you in an hour"

42

u/wiseguy_86 May 27 '22

Cut them some slack, they had to get their good cowboy hats

8

u/justnigel May 27 '22 Silver

If this joke was any darker the cops would start shooting.

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u/zer0cul May 27 '22

I was expecting "negative 10" since taking away the cops would have helped.

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u/Pottyshooter May 27 '22

I was expecting, but then I wasn't. Now I'm in jail.

6

u/RSGMercenary May 27 '22

I wasn't expecting, but then I was. Now I'm in a different state dealing with it.

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u/heirkraft May 27 '22 Silver Helpful

Where’s the best place to hide after committing a murder?

Behind a badge

127

u/karmalized007 May 27 '22

Oh, this one is painfully good., and can be used in so many situations.

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u/IamBerryValentine May 27 '22 Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote LOVE!

How are Texas cops and the Wizard of Oz the same?

The cops are still looking for their brain, courage, and heart.

3.4k

u/HappyTheBunny May 27 '22 Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Press F Table Slap I'll Drink to That

They both have a grand wizard

746

u/0bel1sk May 27 '22

sheeeeet!!! you’re going to make someone very cross.

421

u/TigLyon May 27 '22

Yup, can feel that one burning

262

u/GreatBigBagOfNope May 27 '22

The entire clan felt that one

183

u/Darth_Schrader May 27 '22

I'm not going to hang around for the rest of this one

143

u/MonsieurReynard May 27 '22

It's a terrible hood

106

u/menehanwitch May 27 '22

He whipped that joke up so good, cracked me up

64

u/5557623 May 27 '22

There goes the lynch pin of their whole system.

21

u/ReubenZWeiner May 27 '22

They got a bad reputation, but they seem all white

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u/BothMyChinsAreSpicy May 27 '22

Thanks Sir Toppham Hatt

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u/makoto20 May 27 '22

Dammnnnnn

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u/JesusHChristBot May 27 '22

They've also been known to dabble in yellow bricks

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u/IamBerryValentine May 27 '22

Oh shit! Good morning to you as well.

34

u/grannybubbles May 27 '22

Some of those that work forces, Are the same that burn crosses.

6

u/ConsiderationOk7535 May 28 '22

Killing in the name of…

5

u/2068857539 May 28 '22

Fuck you. I won't do what you tell me.

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u/FoolishMacaroni May 27 '22

Can someone explain? I don’t get it

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u/Afflok May 27 '22

Grand Wizard is the title held by the leader of the Ku Klux Klan

12

u/joewHEElAr May 27 '22

Oh fuuuu….

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u/cosumel May 27 '22

That’s going to leave a mark.

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u/cidici May 27 '22

It doesn’t hurt here or here so much, but right here…

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u/HappyTheBunny May 27 '22

Holy Schnikies, was that a Tommy Boy reference?

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u/KillerInfection May 27 '22

The real punchline is always in the comment section… of the top comment

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u/_Bob_A_Feet_ May 27 '22

Savage, I love it!

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u/uhthisaintitchief May 27 '22

Correct me if I'm wrong but in the wizard of oz they end up finding all these... So How are Texas cops different from the characters in the Wizard of Oz The cops are still looking for their brain, courage and heart.

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u/IamBerryValentine May 27 '22

Close, but you misremember. Come to find out, they had it all along, they just hadn't reached self-actualization.

Edit: The 'gifting' by the wizard was purely symbolic.

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u/MatrixUser420 May 27 '22

I love all the underlying politics of that movie as well.

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u/svn380 May 27 '22

Yes, but did you understand the underlying politics of the book that the movie was based on? That the key was to have the brains, heart and courage to adopt a Gold Standard (the yellow brick road)? And not be put off by the mighty and powerful Oz (New York bankers?)

Seriously.....

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u/espressocycle May 27 '22

No it wasn't the gold standard it was free coining of silver. The scarecrow represents agriculture, the tin man is industry and the cowardly lion is William Jennings Bryan. The wizard is JP Morgan.

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u/IamBerryValentine May 27 '22

I came for the chuckles and stayed for the literature debate.

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u/Wealthyontheinside May 27 '22

The whole run of Oz books are really something. I truly believe Baum was tanked on opium when he wrote them.

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u/vanilla_w_ahintofcum May 27 '22

I don’t think the Wizard was looking for these things…it was the characters themselves.

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u/jogdenpr May 27 '22

Parents ran in before they did.

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u/SL1Fun May 27 '22

The cops spent more time tazing and detaining distraught parents than they did going after the shooter.

170

u/open_perspective May 27 '22

It’s easy when they can’t fight back

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u/Gaiaaxiom May 27 '22

They should show up armed next time. Things will change then

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u/RememberTheMaine1996 May 27 '22

How are they not being sued

137

u/Hairy_Al May 27 '22

Yet. They're not being sued, yet

70

u/supe_snow_man May 27 '22

And then what? The parents whose taxes pay for the police force will now also pay the police fuck-up settlement? Big fucking win...

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u/elconquistador1985 May 27 '22

Fucking 40% of the city's budget is policing. They have a 10+ member SWAT team CoD cosplay team.

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u/McGondy May 27 '22

Ok... so that's your voting system, police system, women's rights and gun laws that need to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the dark ages.

You know what, I'm starting to think America may actually not be the best nation on Earth.

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u/setibeings May 27 '22

The courts have decided that cops don't have a special duty to protect people. Some people question the point of police forces if not to protect people, but this is what we have.

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u/NormalGuy103 May 27 '22

Because there’s legal precedent for it, Warren v. DC established they have no constitutional duty to protect people. Yeah, welcome to America.

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u/elconquistador1985 May 27 '22

Technically Warren v DC is not binding here because it was a lower court ruling.

But this SCOTUS would likely not rule any differently.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '22 Silver

[deleted]

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u/AltseWait May 27 '22

"We'll get back to you when we have more information."

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u/Shut_It_Donny May 27 '22

Or...

None. It's (apparently) not their job.. Their job seems to be stopping anyone from doing anything.

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u/MonsieurReynard May 27 '22

Handcuffing mothers of kids being shot.

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u/oceanmachine420 May 27 '22

True American heroes

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u/Torgosassistant2021 May 27 '22

Isn't the guy who does this under investigation himself and is now on paid leave.

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u/Prototype9 May 27 '22

"Morgan: As your superior, I hereby relieve you of duty. Consider yourself on paid vacation.

Hermes: Oh! The ultimate penalty!"

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u/CrucialLogic May 27 '22

What better way to treat someone who wasn't doing their job than a free all expenses paid holiday.

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u/PunktualPenguin May 27 '22

Oh they helped someone. They helped the shooter find and execute victims.

https://www.newsweek.com/texas-cops-accident-1710352

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u/GeneralDil May 27 '22

I was livid when I first read that. Who the fuck asks people hiding from an active shooter to yell for help? The police killed that little girl.

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u/PunktualPenguin May 27 '22

At worst, they heartlessly sacrificed her to find out where the shooter was.

At best, they are grossly incompetent and completely negligent.

Either way, when they fuck up that bad, I know which side of the bars I want to see them behind.

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u/OakLegs May 27 '22

At worst, they heartlessly sacrificed her to find out where the shooter was

Yeah, not going to lie, my first thought when I read that was that the police used her as a distraction. If the shooter is shooting at her, he's not shooting at you.

He knew where the police would be entering from and going in there would've been difficult to locate him and get the first shot off before he shot you.

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u/bino420 May 27 '22

that's what flashbangs, gas and smoke .. and shields are for!

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u/Nametagg01 May 27 '22

Theres equipment for dealing with this without almost literally throwing children in the line of fire

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u/5557623 May 27 '22

They learned from the Buffalo NY Top foods massacre when the 911 operator hung up on the woman for whispering.

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u/Chav May 27 '22

Steve McCraw, the director of the Texas Department of Public Safety, defended the actions of law enforcement.

"The bottom line is law enforcement was there," McCraw said. "They did engage immediately. They did contain (Ramos) in the classroom."

They kept him in a classroom full of kids, mission accomplished?

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u/fpcoffee May 27 '22

Steve McCraw is human trash

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u/GWJYonder May 27 '22

They wisely knew that the shooter had a preset kill limit. They contained him with waves of children until he stopped firing!

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u/orangeoliviero May 27 '22

Those kids were already dead, there was nothing that we could do to save them.

Oh wait, I'm not a Texan cop.

Fuck all of these guys.

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u/Nago31 May 27 '22

Jesus. This sub is not where I expected to see this article but I appreciate it.

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u/pm_me_your_taintt May 27 '22

It's 2. One to taze parents pleading for help and one to call the border patrol to actually do their jobs for them.

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u/SystemOfAFoopa May 27 '22

I thought it was going to say “None, they wait for Border Patrol to do it”

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u/je97 May 27 '22

How many texas cops does it take to save a shooter from parents who are braver than they are?

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u/SatanicFoundry May 27 '22

Word is they are still making a perimeter and planning to this day

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u/Turnc0at May 27 '22

They dont, they call in a Border Patrol tac team because they're scared pussies who can't take an 18 year old despite all their training and military grade equipment, paid for by you and I.

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u/Smrgling May 27 '22 edited May 28 '22

As far as I'm aware they didn't even call them. They came independently, against the rules, and solved the problem on their own without ever being requested by the police. Police would have happily done nothing for quite a while longer.

Someone please correct me if I'm incorrect here

EDIT: Apparently they asked for help, just not from bortac specifically

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u/UltimateKane99 May 27 '22

Holy fuck, really?! This story gets worse and worse.

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u/exgirl May 27 '22

Yeah, that’s the latest version anyway.

BORTAC agent was off duty, at lunch 40 miles when he heard about the shooting on the radio. He borrowed a gun from the diner’s owner, drove to the school, met up there with a couple other BORTAC agents, then went in and the three of them killed the shooter.

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u/Smrgling May 27 '22

Oh wow that's even worse than I realized

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u/BadFishCM May 27 '22 edited May 27 '22

He was getting a haircut when his wife text him(she works at the school and his daughter also attends). She told him there was an active shooter situation, he took his barbers shotgun and drove 40 miles to the scene and did what the cops couldn’t.

https://nypost.com/2022/05/27/cbp-officer-jacob-albarado-runs-into-uvalde-school-with-barbers-shotgun-to-save-daughter/

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u/Shadow703793 May 27 '22

That's both impressive and sad. Impressive because they did shit the cops didn't and sad because if the cops had acted in time this could have been prevented or at the very least deaths reduced.

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u/AffordableFirepower May 27 '22

and did what the cops couldn’t

wouldn't

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u/robby_synclair May 27 '22

That's pretty badass. It sucks the cops didn't do anything and that he had time to travel 40 miles. But he got shit done.

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u/poojokesarefunny May 27 '22

They were too busy detaining other armed(?) parents from doing exactly what he did. TBH because they not only refused to act, which is a direct contradiction to their training, but actively hindered attempts to rescue victims they should catch accessory charges.

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u/exgirl May 27 '22

I mean, law enforcement standing around while the shooter killed kids makes the whole thing more infuriating than badass. I guess it’s a relief that eventually someone was willing to do his job?

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u/robby_synclair May 27 '22

Yes law enforcement fucked up. But in this story he wasn't at work and his job is border security not protecting the municipality. He borrowed a gun and went and took care of business. Don't take away from what this man did just because others were being incompetent.

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u/soowhatchathink May 27 '22

So another recent update. Originally they said that when the tactical border patrol team arrived that they went in and took out the shooter. But now they are saying that the tactical border patrol team also waited 35 minutes before entry.

A tactical team from CBP was on scene at 12:15 p.m., but did not breach the classroom until 12:50 p.m.

It seems like the article was just updated 15 minutes ago with that bit of information. Source

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u/elconquistador1985 May 27 '22

And that city actually has their own SWAT CoD cosplay team. Apparently their job is looking like bad asses for Facebook photos, though.

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u/ADhomin_em May 27 '22

What's it called when a joke reminds you of how pissed you are?

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u/die-maus May 27 '22

I think you just invented it. You name it!

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u/ADhomin_em May 27 '22 Gold

Turdhewn. That's my choice

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u/Clever_Sardonic_Name May 27 '22

I was here for the birth of Turdhewn. What a special day!

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u/starsfan6878 May 27 '22

Submitted for approval to Urban Dictionary. I'll come back and post a link when / if it gets posted to the site.

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u/die-maus May 27 '22

I'm absolutely turdhewn!

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u/WintersTablet May 27 '22

That joke was turdhewn, I'm now pissed.

It works.

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u/stenebralux May 27 '22

This joke definitely turdhwened me.

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u/Red_Clay_Scholar May 27 '22

Turdhewn has just been added to my dictionary.

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u/yrthegood1staken May 27 '22

That was exactly what I felt when I thought of the 'joke'.

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u/Riffler May 27 '22

Living in Texas.

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u/thisisinput May 27 '22

Don't forget, 40% of Uvalde's city budget goes to their police.

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u/twice-nightly May 27 '22

If you refuse gun control then you had better be confronting a shooter in a school IMMEDIATELY. Like what the fuck.

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u/Left4DayZ1 May 27 '22

Departments are supposed to be trained to rush in and confront the shooter IMMEDIATELY. Whatever it takes to get the shooter's attention off shooting children. That's how cops in my city are trained (I go through ALICE training each year and they explain this thoroughly).

If those Uvalde cops were not trained that way, they should have been. If they were trained that way, they deserve criminal consequence for dereliction of duty.

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u/Bhargo May 27 '22

ALL cops are trained like that. Ever since Columbine was fumbled so badly and the nation saw the cops blunder helplessly and leave the shooters to rampage for so long, every single agency changed procedure to be immediate engage and neutralize of the threat. Anyone who is there, beat cop to federal agent, stops what they are doing and rushes in, if others are there great gather up and go together but go alone if you have to JUST GO.

The fact that so many of them simply waited and let this monster go on a killing spree is such a disgusting dereliction of duty that it should be criminal.

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u/22shadow May 27 '22

I wish that was the case, unfortunately the supreme court ruled it's not the cops responsibility to save you from anyone back in 2005

https://www.nytimes.com/2005/06/28/politics/justices-rule-police-do-not-have-a-constitutional-duty-to-protect.html

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u/something6324524 May 27 '22

yeah it wasn't a hostage with demands scenario, it was a guy going on a massacre scenario. i understand how you might wait to go in if the attacker is holding hostage, but not harming, but when they are just opening fire as quickly as they can rush in. I can understand how a single cop wouldn't want to engage with infearer weapons after all cops are cowards. But it wasn't long before they had a nice group of em, that group should of been taken inside.

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u/Left4DayZ1 May 27 '22

I can absolutely understand any of them being afraid for their own lives. If I'm a cop, and I have my own kids, yes I can totally understand thinking "I don't want to die, I want to see my kids".

But I'm not a cop, they are, and they made that decision.

10

u/yrthegood1staken May 27 '22

I'm not a cop but I wouldn't hesitate to try to find a way in to help kids and stop the shooter. I've stepped in front of an oncoming car to pull a small child to safety. I didn't even think about it, I saw a child in danger and took action without regard to my own wellbeing.

That should be how cops react, just with more training so those split-second decisions are more effective.

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u/[deleted] May 27 '22

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/Beowulf1896 May 27 '22

Yeah... I would have a tough time convicting a parent that pushed past a cop in this situation. Like if my child is in danger, and ... I just can't.

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u/shastaxc May 27 '22

I wouldn't convict a parent if they had shot and killed those police officers in order to get past them

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u/ThisIsTheNewSleeve May 27 '22

They do drills every few months but they have still failed to save any.

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u/trucorsair May 27 '22

Still building a timeline.....

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u/CeleryStickBeating May 27 '22

Internal investigation. The most common, useless kind.

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u/StendhalSyndrome May 27 '22

But they will find they did a great job, and then will use this tragedy to increase their funding.

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u/Blackulla May 27 '22

People don’t like school shooting jokes because they’re always aimed at children!

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u/taboohoo May 27 '22

Are the cops still waiting to go in?

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u/Mkrause2012 May 27 '22

Nah. The shooter is dead so they felt safe to go in for the photo op.

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u/furry_hamburger_porn May 27 '22

Texas cops are the joke.

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u/SlobMarley13 May 27 '22

we're waiting for back up before we figure out the punchline to this joke

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u/chenj38 May 27 '22

They investigated themselves and found nothing was wrong.

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u/Always_Jerking May 27 '22

It is like how many blue crayon is necessary to write green colored drawing.

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u/Snooobjection3453 May 27 '22

Pitiful, they should be ashamed. Turn in your badge and get the fu*k out of here

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u/BreakingBad2014 May 27 '22

Texas cop motto: Let border patrol do it.

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u/Itdidnt_trickle_down May 27 '22

Just think the load of shit those cops kids are going to get. Those cops went in and got their kids leaving all the other kids to fend for themselves.

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u/cinlung May 27 '22

It seems they are brave only if they carry fulll assault gun against regular people with no defensive ability.

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u/lupinemadness May 27 '22

If only the shooter was a black guy armed with loose cigarettes, this tragedy would have ended much sooner.

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u/Manoso1 May 27 '22

Pussies

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u/I_Like_Turtles_Too May 27 '22

My pussy handles a bullet pretty well

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u/1111110011000 May 27 '22

We shouldn't be too hard on the police. After all, they are mostly trained to shoot unarmed black men who are running away from them. Dealing with armed assailants isn't something that they are qualified for.  Besides, a guy could get killed trying to be a hero. Just look at the sheriff deputy who hid in a broom closet during the Parkland massacre. That guy was no dummy.

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u/something6324524 May 27 '22

it's one thing to be a coward and run away, it's a whole other thing to not only refuse to engage because you are scared, but instead use your own guns to make sure no one else can get inside to stop the guy either.

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u/anonymous242524 May 27 '22

How many times has cops used the excuse that they felt endangered or threatened when gunning down a black man with their back turned.

But when they are actually threatened, they hide.

Way to out your own lies there coppies.

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u/About43Clones May 27 '22

The police in America. That’s the whole joke.

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u/godfather_ghost_pep May 27 '22

They’ve investigated themselves and found no wrongdoing. Any further interest will get you “accidentally” no-knocked

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u/radikraze May 27 '22

American cops can shoot unarmed people with no reason whatsoever but when it’s time to actually serve and protect, they’re unavailable. Crazy.

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u/I_MakeCoolKeychains May 27 '22

They're available but only to watch and taze anyone who tries to stop the active crime

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u/Late-Ad-4624 May 27 '22

No idea. They havent entered the building yet as they got scared and retreated.

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u/OysterKnight May 27 '22

Should have told the legislators there was a unborn baby inside

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u/Kinet1ca May 27 '22

The stars at night are big and bright (clap, clap, clap, clap) Deep in the heart of Texas. Where children cry at school then die (clap, clap, clap, clap) deep in the heart of Texas.

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u/JoeBobilicious May 27 '22

The loudest people that stand for the 2A are the most silent when mass shootings occur.

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u/psychpostie May 27 '22

Trick question, they don't

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u/zwirjosemito May 27 '22

For those upset at this joke: Fuck you, and fuck your misguided pearl-clutching. These cops deserve to be ridiculed and humiliated for the rest of their lives. And if you’re here to defend them, you deserve the same.

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u/yrthegood1staken May 27 '22

I appreciate the sentiment but I don't think most of the people who are upset with the joke are necessarily defending the cops. I don't even think those who are defending the cops deserve such ridicule - people are grieving and show that in various ways. Even those who are vehemently angry with me for the joke don't deserve humiliation or personal ridicule.

Let's reserve the scathing ridicule for the cops who were specifically on site and chose to wait. Of course, if they have any measure of self-awareness and legitimate self-respect, their own personal guilt should be sufficient punishment for their behavior. That's not to say that other legal, civil, and professional ramifications shouldn't also be imposed, just that I can't imagine how I'd could ever cope with that kind of guilt.

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u/takatori May 27 '22

None. Texas cops don't save children from active shooters.