Court fees aint cheap

[u/thedarkendkb]

[u/QualityVote]

If this submission makes you go "Hol'Up", UPVOTE this comment!

If this submission does not make you go "Hol'Up", DOWNVOTE this comment!

---

Whilst you're here, /u/thedarkendkb, why not join our public discord server?

[u/helpnxt]

Highway robbery has got so easy nowadays.

[u/Loli-is-Justice → u/helpnxt]

Highway robbery has never been this cool.

[u/The_0P → u/Loli-is-Justice]

did you see those facial expressions? on point lmao

[u/JustineDelarge → u/The_0P]

Man earns his money.

[u/Cheeseand0nions → u/JustineDelarge]

One Christmas me and a friend worked as Street musicians. I learned a lot of respect for serious street performers during that time. Even the guy who dressed like a regular beggar but had brilliant improvisational stand up.

[u/L_Lawliet678 → u/The_0P]

I was about to say that. The smile frown was on point.

[u/crazydazeplease → u/The_0P]

That smile at the end was perfect

[u/Confident_Tension311 → u/Loli-is-Justice]

Run thi pockets

[u/optiongeek → u/helpnxt]

How is this not a felony, but made to look like entertainment?

[u/thatoneasiankid_12 → u/optiongeek]

because bro isn't gonna actually mug someone with a musket pistol.

[u/madjokemaniac → u/thatoneasiankid_12]

The chances are very low but never zero

[u/firefly183 → u/madjokemaniac]

Until you realize the obvious orange cap on the business end of the musket means you're probably not in danger.

[u/madjokemaniac → u/firefly183]

proceeds to shoot anyway

[u/firefly183 → u/madjokemaniac]

Well fuck. In my defense I did say probably!

[u/StrongInevitable4070 → u/madjokemaniac]

better than "Rust". Too soon?

[u/JadeSpade23 → u/madjokemaniac]

So I started blasting

[u/Covfefe-SARS-2 → u/firefly183]

Criminals will never discover orange paint

[u/ShahinGalandar → u/firefly183]

that one was not quite easy to be seen the first time tbh

[u/takeitallback73 → u/firefly183]

that's how nature tells you it's poisonous

[u/40percentOfAllCops → u/madjokemaniac]

Own a musket for home defense, since that's what the founding fathers intended. Four ruffians break into my house. "What the devil?" As I grab my powdered wig and Kentucky rifle. Blow a golf ball sized hole through the first man, he's dead on the spot. Draw my pistol on the second man, miss him entirely because it's smoothbore and nails the neighbors dog. I have to resort to the cannon mounted at the top of the stairs loaded with grape shot, "Tally ho lads" the grape shot shreds two men in the blast, the sound and extra shrapnel set off car alarms. Fix bayonet and charge the last terrified rapscallion. He Bleeds out waiting on the police to arrive since triangular bayonet wounds are impossible to stitch up. Just as the founding fathers intended.

[u/Gunzbngbng → u/40percentOfAllCops]

Triangle bayonets are the hollowpoints of those times.

[u/[deleted] → u/40percentOfAllCops]

God I love my country.

[u/Bitchscit → u/40percentOfAllCops]

I lol 4 this

[u/deadpoopoo → u/40percentOfAllCops]

Yummy pasta

[u/skinofthedred → u/40percentOfAllCops]

Never gets old

[u/BigPoppaFitz84 → u/40percentOfAllCops]

I love that I don't know if if you own a dozen rifles, or if you are sensible in the approach, or if you don't even own a firearm.. your writing is just highly entertaining!

[u/[deleted] → u/thatoneasiankid_12]

Hey wouldn’t mind being jacked by jack sparrow, it’s an honor

[u/firefly183 → u/optiongeek]

The glaringly obvious orange cap on the end of the gun is a bit of a reassuring give away.

[u/[deleted] → u/firefly183]

Also the fact that he's dressed as a drunk pirate from the early 1700's might give it away.

[u/KingKoil → u/optiongeek]

Anything less than the best is a felony

[u/Housumestari → u/helpnxt]

It's super easy, barely an inconvenience

[u/docsemen]

Because the rum is gone 😞

[u/EruwinSumisu → u/docsemen]

The rum is gone!

[u/uolo1 → u/EruwinSumisu]

But why is the rum gone??

[u/3dWin0 → u/uolo1]

But how is the rum gone?

[u/docsemen → u/3dWin0]

Haven’t you Heard?

[u/ofrausto3 → u/docsemen]

Amber is the color of your energy.

[u/durz47 → u/ofrausto3]

And the color of your turd

[u/docsemen → u/ofrausto3]

[u/slimjoel14 → u/docsemen]

Now bring me that horizon

[u/RampantDragon → u/3dWin0]

I'll do you one better, why is Gamora?

[u/Ok-Entertainment4177 → u/RampantDragon]

Who is gamora?

[u/im_not_martin → u/Ok-Entertainment4177]

How is Gamora?

[u/DiamondJolt → u/im_not_martin]

When is Gamora?

[u/Maskedbandit63 → u/docsemen]

Why is the rum always gone…

[u/therearenoemailsleft → u/Maskedbandit63]

Fuck. A hundred comments later. Thank you

[u/M16_Axel]

That has to be the most amazing pirate ive ever seen

[u/PajamaGuardianUrgot → u/M16_Axel]

So it would seem

[u/M16_Axel → u/PajamaGuardianUrgot]

https://youtu.be/27mB8verLK8

[u/kesavadh]

Juan Sparrow? Is that you?

[u/__SpeedRacer__ → u/kesavadh]

Jack's long lost brother

[u/SnooPineapples5444 → u/__SpeedRacer__]

Saavy!

[u/cholotariat → u/kesavadh]

Yak Espero

[u/brazys → u/cholotariat]

¿Jack Gorrion?

[u/Indaflow → u/kesavadh]

Came here to say Capitan Jesus Sparrow

[u/lugubrious_lug → u/Indaflow]

Joaquin Sparrow.

[u/Stranded_Miner]

That looks dope as fuck even the way he moves and facial expressions are 100%

[u/respekthhh → u/Stranded_Miner]

Think he might be actually drunk

[u/upsetsanity → u/respekthhh]

He's not drunk, he's "in character"

[u/ThellraAK → u/upsetsanity]

How'd he get in character?

[u/needyboy1 → u/ThellraAK]

By drinking of course.

[u/Goalie_deacon → u/respekthhh]

He's a method actor

[u/Advice2Anyone → u/respekthhh]

Jsut like the real thing, jar of cocaine and hes finished

[u/[deleted] → u/Stranded_Miner]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/Sanc7 → u/[deleted]]

Yep The facial expression is on point lmao

[u/OMG_DAVID_KIM → u/Sanc7]

the facial expression point is on lmao

[u/Mazzaroppi → u/OMG_DAVID_KIM]

Yep the facial expression is on point lmao

[u/tipying_mistakes → u/Mazzaroppi]

the facial expression point is on lmao

[u/badarcade → u/tipying_mistakes]

I just had a stroke, thanks guys

[u/fux_wit_it → u/badarcade]

the stroke is on point lmao

[u/Erebus689 → u/fux_wit_it]

The stroke is on point lmao

[u/permacougar → u/Erebus689]

The stork is a bird with a pointed beak lmao

[u/spottyrx → u/Stranded_Miner]

Plot twist: It's the real guy pimping to cover his lawyer bills.

[u/Im_Not_Humourous]

"Where's the bloody dollar"

[u/Icy-Environment-6680 → u/Im_Not_Humourous]

If iv'e seen right , he gsve him a 2€ coin .

[u/Luizian → u/Icy-Environment-6680]

He drops in 2 coins and i’m not sure this is europe

[u/Icy-Environment-6680 → u/Luizian]

One of the boards(signs ) has "desvio" writen in it , wich makes this most likely spain or mexico so there are a lot of chances but i could be wrong and it being mexico

[u/MLToasted420]

The facial expression is on point lmao

[u/[deleted] → u/MLToasted420]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/[deleted] → u/[deleted]]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/disturbedjeanie → u/[deleted]]

the facial expression point is on lmao

[u/[deleted] → u/disturbedjeanie]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/b16b34r → u/[deleted]]

On point is the facial expression

[u/anothertrad → u/b16b34r]

lmao

[u/nvthrowaway12 → u/anothertrad]

ayy lmao

[u/Alternative_Ad_6466 → u/disturbedjeanie]

Yes, the facial expression is on point lmfao

[u/SolitaireyEgg → u/[deleted]]

the facial expression point is on lmao

[u/Murderyoga → u/[deleted]]

Those are so Jack's mannerisms.

[u/dwntwn_dine_ent_dist → u/Murderyoga]

That’s “Captain Jack”

[u/KeepCalmJeepOn → u/dwntwn_dine_ent_dist]

So you have heard of me?

[u/ItsScaryTerryBitch → u/Murderyoga]

He could probably double as Jack's Mannequin

[u/MashedPotatoLogic → u/[deleted]]

This looks like a bot reply

[u/ponzidreamer → u/MLToasted420]

Sooo this is weird. Check out all the accounts (except 2) that replied to this comment. All are low karma accounts made around 100 days ago. Are they all bots?

Edit: sorry not just toasted but anybody that happens to be reading this

[u/fuckshitpissspam → u/ponzidreamer]

THE ROBOTS ARE TAKING OVER!

I'll evacuate the redditors, you call the Navy!

[u/Althunter_man86 → u/fuckshitpissspam]

Hello operator, get me the navy!

[u/cornman95 → u/Althunter_man86]

They’ve taken over the Navy!

[u/b16b34r → u/fuckshitpissspam]

Where should we go?? Imgur finally will get us all?

[u/aiiyane → u/ponzidreamer]

check my account too I'm not sure if I'm a bot or not anymore

[u/GromaceAndWallit → u/ponzidreamer]

I'm often convinced reddit is 99% bots and these moments are just peeking through a buggy corner of an otherwise convincing program.

Good thing that's not true, right?

[u/TheShowerDrainSniper → u/ponzidreamer]

Sopying comments too

[u/LagCommander → u/TheShowerDrainSniper]

I wished I could remember the subreddit, but when I first noticed copied bot comments someone linked to a subreddit that tracked them

There can be stupidly obvious ones, then there's the ones that copy top comments from years ago. Gawd I got some nostalgia for the 00-early 10s internet. It all feels so...fake now

[u/[deleted] → u/MLToasted420]

[removed] — view removed comment

[u/Nkognito → u/MLToasted420]

That man is the best pirate I ever seen!

[u/nibbleverifiable → u/MLToasted420]

Juan Sparrow? Is that you?

[u/redshores → u/nibbleverifiable]

bot stealing comments from https://old.reddit.com/r/HolUp/comments/upfxtv/court_fees_aint_cheap/i8khkhy/

Why do bots steal comments from the same thread? it's so obvious

[u/ReyRey5280 → u/nibbleverifiable]

Juaquín Sparrow*

[u/AgentMV → u/ReyRey5280]

Captain Juaquín Sparrow

[u/SmoothConfection1115]

That person put enough effort into the mannerisms and costume to deserve more than a coin.

[u/milk4all → u/SmoothConfection1115]

D’yar, yee lubber, dat be a gold dabloon, a pieces of eight! Cast ye scorn else aught, to tha briny deep with yee, to Davy Jones’ locker!

[u/spread_panic → u/SmoothConfection1115]

I half expected he was also offering pirate ZJs, to be honest.

[u/DmitryMate]

When you spend all your money on cleaning out Amber turds from the house

[u/TheRealGreenArrow420 → u/DmitryMate]

Objection, hearsay!

[u/GNav → u/TheRealGreenArrow420]

But...you asked the question...

[u/Mysterious_Ad_8105 → u/GNav]

Just an FYI, as an evidentiary matter, it’s entirely proper to object to hearsay in witness testimony even when it was your own question that elicited the hearsay. If I ask, “How do you know that my client owned a gun” and you respond, “Your client’s neighbor told me that your client owns a lot of guns,” that’s likely objectionable hearsay and I’m well within my rights to object.

The problem isn’t that the objection is improper (it’s not), but that I shouldn’t be asking open-ended questions that give the witness the opportunity to delve into hearsay in the first place. That’s the part that’s sloppy lawyering. Instead, I should be asking pointed questions that I already know the answer to like, “You never personally seen my client holding a gun, correct?”

[u/GNav → u/Mysterious_Ad_8105]

God damn. TIL.

I cant recall much of the video clips (usually watch em drunk and bored), but I found it funny because (as best as I can remember) the lawyer objected before he even got two words out.

I definitely get what youre saying about the open ended questions though. Isnt it supposed to be practice to almost lead the opposition to divulge what you what, rather than hoping they just openly self incriminate.

[u/firefly183 → u/TheRealGreenArrow420]

Heardsay*

[u/ThomasNorge224]

He needs some money for rum

[u/BigMoe52]

Dope. Wouldn’t go pointing that gun around tho

[u/biggestsnake → u/BigMoe52]

Step 1: look like jack sparrow

Step 2: rob someone at gunpoint without them even knowing it’s a real gun

Step 3: profit

Step 4: acquire jar of dirt

[u/The_Akkik → u/biggestsnake]

Pointing a toy gun at someone and not getting shot on the the spot? Definitely not US!

[u/SaysThreeWords → u/The_Akkik]

Sign looks Spanish

[u/jairo4 → u/SaysThreeWords]

Yeah, that's Peru. Actually, right now I'm Very close to that place.

[u/Rip_and_Tear93 → u/The_Akkik]

Because people in the US are too blind to see a high viz orange cap? Pretty sure that's just the cops.

[u/XtaC23 → u/Rip_and_Tear93]

America guns violence lmaoo

[u/Dumeck → u/Rip_and_Tear93]

Naw i live in Kentucky, there are a ton of rednecks looking for just any excuse at all to shoot someone.

[u/new_user_for_flame → u/BigMoe52]

Pirate gun + orange tip, I would say it's OK for cosplay

[u/hjfsound → u/new_user_for_flame]

The police pulled their guns on a fucking storm trooper cosplay in my city..

https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/calgary/stormtrooper-arrest-police-lethbridge-star-wars-day-1.5555963

[u/Felipesantoro → u/hjfsound]

I dont know why the officers would do that, even if the gun was real it is not like she would be able to hit any target anyway

[u/RustyPoetatoes → u/hjfsound]

Was just about to point this out, that poor stormtrooper. Had her in tears over a cosplay, horrible police work.

[u/Epion660 → u/hjfsound]

Well that's Canada.

[u/Omnipotent48 → u/hjfsound]

In front of a comic book store, no less.

[u/AzureSkyXIII → u/BigMoe52]

Bros definitely playing a dangerous game

[u/josephtty]

Jhonny Debt

[u/theundercoverpapist]

Oh, shit! I'd slip this guy a $20 for effort!

[u/diagraphic → u/theundercoverpapist]

Right? So good

[u/elfrawst]

I would definitely give this man cash

[u/Far_Sandwich_3317]

WOW HE EVEN GOT THE LITTLE THING DOWN

[u/7Birdies]

Juan Depp

Edito: Juanito Despacito

[u/thundercloudtemple → u/7Birdies]

Jaun-y Depp

[u/Terrarian_BeanBag → u/7Birdies]

Juan Deep

[u/pinton96]

You are without doubt the worst pirate I’ve ever heard of

[u/tennisballop → u/pinton96]

But you have heard of me

[u/SnooCupcakes155 → u/pinton96]

Amber heard of?

[u/Veotix]

I love this video so much, facial expressions, mannerisms and even his eyes at the end. IT'S PERFECT

[u/web_knows → u/Veotix]

I hadn’t noticed the eyes movement until now, that was really well done

[u/diagraphic]

I love how he points the gunslinger at you LOL

[u/zMTOS]

daamn man he must've been put a lot of effort into these costume and facial expressions. give him his money even if he doesnt have a gun

[u/Time_Height_231]

Seems unwise to point a fake gun at strangers…

[u/Pile_of_Walthers → u/Time_Height_231]

Who says it’s fake?

[u/tennisballop → u/Pile_of_Walthers]

The red tip

[u/edgarallanpot8o → u/tennisballop]

step 1 get real gun

step 2 paint the tip red

step 3 ???

step 4 profit

[u/tennisballop → u/edgarallanpot8o]

Step 1 get a fake gun

Step 2 remove the red tip

Step 3 ???

Step 4 profit

[u/WTFNSFWFTW → u/tennisballop]

TIL my dog has a fake penis.

[u/ColdHaven → u/Pile_of_Walthers]

Who says it’s a stranger?

[u/technoguy_indo]

He did it so well that i forgot it was on the street and not on the sea

[u/intensely_human → u/[deleted]]

This is reddit bro

[u/GamerZoom108 → u/intensely_human]

THIS. IS. SPARTA.

kick

[u/3dWin0 → u/[deleted]]

No this is Jack Sparrow.

NO! CAPTAIN Jack Sparrow

[u/Intrepid-Storage7241]

Ships ain't gonna pay itself mate!

[u/Iltempered1]

Doesn't look quite homeless to me, but in this case I would have to cough up some cash anyhow. Bravo

[u/TheBigMasterPigg]

he incorporated the character perfectly holy shit

[u/CUNT_DEVOURER]

He did the little smile thing so wel

[u/RC_G4m1ng]

The smile at the end was perfect

[u/ChaoticGood3]

That's got to be the best panhandler I've ever seen.

[u/LegoBricksAndMemes]

Bro got the character on point, the nod and all

[u/Mikeku825]

One of the best sparrow impressions ever

[u/uprobablydontknow]

that facial expression tho

[u/DoughNotDoit]

oh god it's Quack Sbarrow

[u/RentalGore]

it’s Edward Pan Handler-hands

[u/FewDewFied]

He nailed it LOL

[u/OFSxSn1p3r]

You want my money? Take it.

[u/idkburneridkidk]

The face...perfect

[u/blizzardice]

That's the only time I'd give money from car.

[u/fakebets]

That short smile at the end

[u/epacella13]

He even got the mannerisms 😭

[u/RealTimeWarfare]

He isn’t robbing he’s a street performer collecting his dues

[u/Wrong-Adhesiveness92]

At least Juan Sparrow working for his money… 👍

[u/HereWeGoBabee]

Invested in a costume, triple the panhandling profits

[u/krisko11]

Johny depp from wish

[u/TheSaltyReddittor]

Can we just talk about how on point of that cosplay was? Down to the facial expressions.

[u/popemichael]

At least his legal defense won't shit the bed

[u/timingandscoring]

Oh wow that’s absolutely incredible. I’d totally empty my wallet for Jack Sparrow !!

[u/Ricktoon_Bingdar]

Bring me his non-union Mexican equivalent!

[u/Stuf404]

I watched it twice specifically because I was so surprised about how well he executed the mannerisms!

[u/Penguinz90]

Great job, I would totally have given him a few bucks.

[u/Sergisimo1]

This is, in fact, a hold up. Roll credits!

[u/evilgrapesoda]

That’s got to be the best pirate impression I’ve ever seen

[u/Quadrophiniac]

This guy actually does a pretty good jack sparrow

[u/rigon28]

Capitán Juan Pájaro

[u/Sithlordandsavior]

Honestly, I'd give him a buck. Gave me a solid laugh.

[u/NyPensFan95]

Captain Juan Sparrow

[u/HelixHeart]

His imitation on the mannerisms was solid.