r/HolUp
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u/Exleose
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Jan 10 '22
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My little brother's history on his ds... holup
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u/Spybreak272
Jan 10 '22
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If he didn't clean the history what are the odds he cleaned off the DS?
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u/Tommysrx Jan 10 '22
“Why are the buttons so sticky!?”
I………I spilled soda pop on it
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u/RocketLauncher Jan 10 '22 •
Let me have a taste and see then.
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Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 16 '22
[deleted]
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u/TronicCronic Jan 10 '22 •
Semenilla
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u/Tommysrx Jan 10 '22
Salmonella
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u/TronicCronic Jan 10 '22 •
That's his sister's Xbox controller.
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u/NoBarsHere Jan 10 '22
Oh wait
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u/ImaginationNub Jan 10 '22
Sam O'Nella
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Jan 10 '22 edited Apr 26 '22
[removed] — view removed comment
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Jan 10 '22
That's what I have never understood about this trope. I mean, maybe people do on accident if they are using a laptop, but this doesn't seem like it should be common.
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u/Great_Hamster Jan 10 '22
I've already read it more as "they don't wash their hands afterwards before touching their keyboard."
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u/Powderygnargnarlvl40
Jan 10 '22
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Time to casually bring up whore.com in normal conversation.
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u/WhatAmIDoing229 madlad Jan 10 '22 •
Wait for parents to be out of the house and unplug the router, then tell him you got a call from the internet company and they're shutting it off because they found out someone visited whore.com
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u/Ok_Writing_7033 Jan 10 '22
Oooooh nasty and devious. I love it
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u/punkwalrus Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 11 '22 •
I sort of did that when my son was addicted to Neopets. I rerouted all Neopets traffic to a fake web page (internally) that said he'd been banned via an edict from his school regarding his poor grades.
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u/BarklyWooves Jan 10 '22
Modern problems call for modern solutions
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u/lorenzomofo Jan 10 '22
The FBI are going door to door to see who it is. The president is going into DEFCON-1 because the internet is down. The IMF has initiated “ghost protocol”.
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u/boopthat Jan 10 '22
This is definitely how you big brother.
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u/SeriousAboutShwarma Jan 10 '22
And then it leads into a wholesome moment of teaching when they learn about search history. Real object lesson shit.
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u/BeardedMuse Jan 10 '22
My dad showed me how to clear my search history. Never said why, just showed me, and we never spoke of it again.
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u/Downvote_4A_Goodtime Jan 10 '22
You better off with porn on reddit anyway. It’s free and no viruses. Teaching moment there.
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u/SopieMunky Jan 10 '22
"Little bro! I've got something to show you, but don't tell mom! It's whore.com! What?! You already know about it?! Teach me the ways little bro!"
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u/sambargold Jan 10 '22
lmao, whore.com
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u/PoppaSquatt2010 Jan 10 '22
When we first got the internet back in ‘98 or ‘99 I searched boobs.com. Didn’t know how to delete the search history so I spent the next couple hours spamming different websites in hopes it would hide the search far down the list
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u/8asdqw731 Jan 10 '22
should've gone to bools.com and say you were trying to learn programming but misspelt the website
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u/PoppaSquatt2010 Jan 10 '22
I mean I was like 8 years old. 8 year olds aren’t exactly that smart. If caught my plan was to blame my brother.
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u/hereforthatphatporn Jan 10 '22
Fuck you reminded me of my first time going on redtube.. i didnt know it was porn, a friend had simply said "dont go on redtubedotcom". So of course i did.
9 inch black cocks that looked like kielbasa. Giant fake tits more smooth and round than billiards balls.
I tried unplugging the computer to remove the website on the search bar.
Then i tried filling up "R" searches.
Im positive the only person who knew is my older brother, if anyone found out. But he never mentioned it.
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u/Mercrist_089 Jan 10 '22
Lmao same, I'd either spam cartoon network links or use internet explorer since no one else in my family did.
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u/e-2c9z3_x7t5i Jan 10 '22
This was back in the AOL days where the search history was just a dropdown list right from the url section. It was limited to about 50 entries. I would go through pokemon profiles on Nintendo's pokemon site to fill it up.
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u/Trolann Jan 10 '22
I learned early on in the AOL days you could connect, minimize AOL and use Internet Explorer or whatever else you wanted. My parents (Dad mainly) never knew you could use the 'computer internet's until we got DSL and by then I had my own machine.
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u/LeftyHyzer Jan 10 '22
my buddy came home one day and found out his younger 11 year old or so brother googled "titi fuk". we roasted him with that nickname for years after.
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u/juicyfruitsalad77 Jan 10 '22 •
This is the part that cracked me up too. Whore.com! For all your whorely needs lol
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u/DieSexy Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22 •
Yea that killed me! The mind of a child, huh? When the internet was new I actually looked up boys.com thinking there would be stuff for boys on there...turned out to be a gay porn site. First porn site I ever visited, sadly. But it did give me a fresh idea for what might be on girls.com, and it was indeed heterosexual porn. And thus starts my lifelong addiction to porn.
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u/ih8spalling Jan 10 '22
boys.com today is exactly what you were looking for back then!
Articles include "Whats Hot Now On PS3" and "Why Cool Clothes Are So Important"
girls.com was a disappointment however.
Both sites are SFW
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u/GhostGuy4249 Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22 •
I'ma try it in case you decided to do a little bit of trolling
Edit: Hey it’s not a porn website! Now to try girls.com
Edit 2: It’s a call girl website, doubt the phone number still works (like a 1/4 nsfw). woman.com?
Edit 3: It redirects to www6.woman.com? What does www6 even mean? In the meantime how about man.com?
Edit 4: Pretty sure it’s an actual investment firm lamo (idk if that’s the right term). Next up, female.com!
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Jan 10 '22
I was early on this shit. I was so young I put in nakedwomen.com and thought that would get the result. It did not and I didn’t know history was a thing back then.
Yeah.
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u/Jimmyhatespie Jan 10 '22
I discovered the barenaked ladies through a similar method.
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u/CozImDirty Jan 10 '22
It’s been.. One week since I beat the meat
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u/weavingcomebacks Jan 10 '22
Choked the turkey and now I've got a new treat
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u/degjo Jan 10 '22
And that's how your Canadian fetish was born?
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u/BreakfastEither814 Jan 10 '22
LOL I'm Canadian...
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u/DieSexy Jan 10 '22
Discovering the internet was a wild time I tell ya, especially in its infancy. I’ll never forget it...RIP to roundandbrown.com
Edit: roundandbrown.com directs you straight to reality kings these days it seems.
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u/Sabata11792 Jan 10 '22
I just typed boobs into google like a normal kid. I was done before the first boob loaded. Fucking dile up.
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u/_hell_is_empty_ Jan 10 '22
We’re discussing an age before the Google’s reign, when Altavista was king.
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u/ActualWhiterabbit Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22
I first went to porn.com then was upset every thing was behind a pay wall. Fortunately just the blurred out landing page and tastefully censored previews were enough.
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u/Lumpy_Staff_2372 Jan 10 '22
Reminds of that time a friend and I at the age of like 8 thought it would be fucking hysterical if we typed in pee.com and accidentally stumbled upon a piss fetish website
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u/FireCanary Jan 10 '22
The internet truly used to be a lawless place. The amount of crazy sites you used to stumble upon was amazing.
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u/stfuyfc Jan 10 '22
Oh it's all still out there, it's just that the internet we use is essentially like the top layer of a landfill, so many garbage sites litter the front page of search engines, when was the last time you went to the second page of a Google search
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u/WinPeaks Jan 10 '22
Whitehouse.com used to be a porn site. I learned that in elementary school while trying to do a report on the Whitehouse.
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u/Fiallach Jan 10 '22
For a brief moment, the internet was 50% porn. It still is in term of volume but it's not chaos anymore. Used to be you want on a site like chickens dot com, could be pranks or funny videos or a weird blog of some guy weirdly specific on chicken farming. Could also be porn.
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u/BreakfastEither814 Jan 10 '22
I went to POOP . com because it's hysterical and it used to be prank supplies and prank gifts about pooop, and now it's, unfortunately, a computer virus.
But those were fun times when it was a store.
POOOOOOOP IS HILARIOUS!!!
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u/LeEliteChicken Jan 10 '22
And thus starts my lifelong addiction to porn.
You are very modest for a man of culture
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Jan 10 '22
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u/rollerblazer420 Jan 10 '22
Ever hear of Dicks sporting goods ? Dicks.com was a rude awakening for a couple buddies of mine back in the early days of the net who were innocently looking for new baseball gear or whatever
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u/froginator14 Jan 10 '22
Reminds me of the time I was at a friend's house and wanted to go to hotwheels.com and instead typed hot.com
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u/s3v3ns3v3n91
Jan 10 '22
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That important day has finally arrived.. the day where you have to be the responsible big brother and have a 1 to 1 talk with your little brother about the importance of deleting the browser history.
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u/SilentKingOfSpam Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 11 '22 •
"First time, hunh? I think you're old enough to understand this. This is my wisdom to you: After I clear my browser history of porn, I do a quick Google search for things like: "Feeding the hungry" and "How to thank a loving Mother" and "Directions to the Wall of Shan."
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u/JVehh Jan 10 '22
Jo you need him to say it like
Step one: bust a nut
Step two: clear browser history
Step three: random bullshit go so it doesn't look empty
Step four: wait for the post nut clarity to kick in and feel miserable
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u/Tortue2006 Jan 10 '22
Can you use incognito on ds?
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u/Conzyyyyyyy Jan 10 '22
These are the type of questions that needs to be answered.
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u/teaconnolly Jan 10 '22
You cannot, I just went on my DS to check and I couldn't manage to any way
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u/LadyfingerJoe Jan 10 '22
But... Can you watch porn on the ds? I know most of us are trying to digest whore.com, but some of us have real questions!
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u/whensussythrowaway Jan 10 '22
Ds doesn't actually load videos, but you can still look at images, and the quality is like 144p.
I only had a 3ds for my early teen years
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Jan 10 '22
For me it was opposite. Older bro didn't knew about history. I told him he won't find mine and our even older cousin sister's videos on internet.
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u/Tom_Brokaw_is_a_Punk Jan 10 '22
our cousin sister's videos
Oh boy, I bet your uncle dad would've been steamed if he found out about that
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u/RayonLovesFish
Jan 10 '22
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I was dumber than this. I used my father's gmail account which was default in my device to watch porn. He searched a lot to find out evidence but I earased it all and he did not care to search more,just asked me do you use this to watch bad things, and I was startled how he found out. At that time I didn't know you were supposed to masturbate. I just watched and did nothing.
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u/TheBearfist Jan 10 '22 •
I spent roughly $800 in one month on directv porn when i was like 9. My dad was so angry he went full circle and started laughing. I would just buy something, watch it for 30 seconds, buy another, rinse and repeat. Every day for about a month.
In my mind it was the perfect crime; afterball, how would they know it was me? Surely there wasn't some way to check the purchase history and see that all of them were made when i was home alone.
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u/Gerbal_Annihilation Jan 10 '22
I lived with my aunt and her bf. As soon as we got internet I searched porn on the family comp and got busted from the history search. My aunt was shook but her bf was like "yeah don't search for hair pussy on the computer. Here is a stack of porno mags, go crazy".
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u/imisstheyoop Jan 10 '22
I did the same thing but with phone sex lines. I was too young to even know what they were and had never masturbated or anything like that, I just thought it was funny to talk to the ladies and see how long I could go without them hanging up on me.
A couple continued on way longer than they should have..
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u/AxelllD Jan 10 '22
Suddenly my secret calls to get premium in a soccer management game seem way more innocent.
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u/EnglishThunder Jan 10 '22
I used to steal the home phone to get RuneScape membership every month as a kid, parents never did catch on.
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u/ClearX Jan 10 '22
Same but mine did after a few months, didn't have to pay back but my mom told me to stop calling "phone game thing" also found out school phones work as well years later. Told my teacher me and my friend would like to word on our school projects in a empty classroom so we can focus more and she agreed. Abused the shit out of it. Pretty sure we spend over 200 euro on runescape and WoW.
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u/Declan-S Jan 10 '22
So you watched for the plot?
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u/RayonLovesFish Jan 10 '22
I don't know man just started watching because my friends told it was good stuff but after watching kind of felt good. But I didn't watch it so often then.
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u/TheLeviathong Jan 10 '22
"I mean it made me feel good, but not as good as 'Love Actually' or 'It's a Wonderful Life'."
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u/CurveOfTheUniverse Jan 10 '22
Imaging beating your meat to “It’s a Wonderful Life.”
“Please, Mary, help me.” nuts
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u/Poopypants413413 Jan 10 '22
My first time watching porn at like 11 years old I literally came in my pants in room full of my friends. I had no idea what happened and thought I peed or something.
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u/RayonLovesFish Jan 10 '22
Haha,I remember starting to masturbate, feeling something coming out and slight pain,then I stopped it because of pain. I thought something bad was happening to me.
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u/j3b3di3_ Jan 10 '22
Weird how the first time was painful. Like it burned and hurt. But afterwards it was like.... Ight I think I want to try that again
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u/repfive305 Jan 10 '22 •
I had a massive urge to hump so I laid on the carpet and humped the floor. I did this for months. Idk why I chose the floor over a bed.
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u/JurassicClark96 Jan 10 '22
If I knew that a decade later I would need to get multiple cameras shoved up my urethra because this method caused scar tissue to build up in my trackway, I would have built a time machine and told little me about the five knuckle shuffle.
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u/daniel_bryan_yes Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22
I used my father's gmail account which was default in my device to watch porn.
OK, I officially feel like a dinosaur.
My first experience with Internet "porn" was being 16 years old, sneaking on my parents computer before they came home from work (only theirs was connected to the Internet), downloading nudes of Pamela Anderson (which would load a pixel line at a time for entire minutes) on Geocities websites I found on Altavista, putting as many of them as I could on a 1.44mb floppy so I could then open them on my own Pentium 166.
I didn't even know Netscape had search or browsing history. Thankfully, my parents didn't either.
It was a different time.
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u/nachoman420 Jan 10 '22
Lmao, we only had one computer so I'd print them out in black and white
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u/treesarefriend Jan 10 '22
Same wondering my my pp was going hard lmao
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u/gamecity360 Jan 10 '22
I had a weird reaction, over the course of 30 minutes I had to pee 6 times
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u/feelingnether Jan 10 '22
Just watched 😂🤣 sitting here commenting the scenario.
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u/uscdoc2013 Jan 10 '22
I remember my 1st time ejaculating... it was not a fun time. I stood up, ran to the bathroom, and hovered above the toilet. I felt like this wasn't supposed to happen. Then I stared down while stuff came out, thinking I was going to die and my dick was gnna fall off. Then, shame and fear took over my body. Had no idea what happened. I was 9.
Edit: spelling and edited for clarity
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u/ljcozad Jan 10 '22
I love how we're all just casually saying all of this. Mine was 14 or 15 btw.
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u/NotJphy Jan 10 '22
I love to go to whore.com everyday
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u/biological-entity Jan 10 '22
it is nice to see your mom, but i don't know if i could do it every day.
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u/Odd-Book4865 Jan 10 '22
How many of you just looked up whore.com?
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u/_Ki11UMiN4Ti_ Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22
Bout to
Edit: just redirected me to Chaturbate
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u/Puzzled_Formal942 Jan 10 '22
I think you can get hacked that way
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u/Shape_Cold Jan 10 '22
Who would deploy a zero day on random redditors? Aslong as you keep your browser and system up-to-date most likely nothing will happen
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u/Timid_Wild_One Jan 10 '22
I remember the first porn site I ever searched for as a kid.... ass.com It was a real site and I absolutely got caught not knowing how to clear history. Years later I found my little brothers internet search history, things like "Toom Rayder Nood" and taught him a few days later on how to clear out everything without letting him know what I found.
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u/DreamOfV Jan 10 '22
I tried but it just brought me to your mom’s facebook page, very confused
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u/JournalistKane Jan 10 '22
And his big brother betrays him and posts the history on the Internet xD big oof
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u/Swizzletits Jan 10 '22
I’d rather my sibling anonymously make fun of me online (probably without my knowledge) then for them to tattle to mom & dad! My mom caught me looking up tentacle hentai when I was 7 and called my grandma to make fun of me 🙃
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Jan 10 '22 edited Jan 10 '22
I’m sorry did you seriously just censor your thumb?
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u/avaflies Jan 10 '22 •
it's not even op's thumb. this went viral like a whole month ago on twitter and i'm pretty sure the original caption was something like "look what was in my cousin's ds history". and the thumb wasn't censored. idk why reddit op did that.
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u/BigMik_PL Jan 10 '22
Wait you've been posting things online without censoring your digits?
What if people enhance and steal your fingerprints?
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u/BUCIFER_64 Jan 10 '22
You can do that on DS?
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u/Local_Crow Jan 10 '22
I sold a 3DS to one of my friends, and within 5 minutes he had 3D porn pulled up. So yeah.
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u/AndyJobandy Jan 10 '22
The trick was to look up gifs which would load. Not that I would know or have ever done it...
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u/CookieGrandma69
Jan 10 '22
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When I was little, I used to Google "hot 13 year old girls" on my dad's phone. Pretty sure I put him on a list or something.
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u/edrifighting Jan 11 '22
Imagine if your mom was the untrusting type and went through his phone. That’d be some shit.
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u/Kunibert_der_zweite
Jan 10 '22
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give a men a playboy and you will satisfy him for a day. give him a device with internet connection and he will become a porn addict.
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u/Jacrispea Jan 10 '22
Don't make a joke about their mom... Don't make a joke about their mom.... Don't make a joke about their mom.
Okay, I'm good.
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u/bluefire659 Jan 10 '22
Xvideos? I see your cousin is a man of taste
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u/ImurderREALITY Jan 10 '22
Xvideos when I want to feel cultured. XNXX when I want to get nastayyy
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u/machingunwhhore madlad Jan 10 '22
Funnily xnxx was the first site I found and regularly used. I didn't realize it was a cesspool for a couple years. That probably left an impression on my tastes
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u/zorrez Jan 10 '22
Is it really that bad? Used both xvideos and xnxx but to me they’re quite similar
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u/gravitydood Jan 10 '22
I don't see how xnxx is more hardcore than any other porn site, heavy-r is where the messed up stuff is.
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u/altbecausewhynotx Jan 10 '22
…other people know about heavy-r?
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u/HansenTakeASeat Jan 10 '22 •
Post-nut clarity following an xnxx jerk is quite sobering and makes me feel like a fundamentally disgusting human being
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u/Dotaproffessional Jan 10 '22
Maybe in out of the loop here. I was under the impression that xnxx and xvideos were different front ends for the same video repository
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u/heddpp Jan 10 '22
They're the exact same, just different URLs and different designs. Both sites have the exact same videos.
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u/Dotaproffessional Jan 10 '22
I thought so. People in the comments acting like xvideos is classy and xnxx had disturbing videos. I'm like... Bruh it's the same videos
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u/International_Jello Jan 10 '22
xnxx has a forum which is truly insane. I highly recommend checking it out. Posts from exactly the sort of people you'd expect to hang out on a porn site forum
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Jan 10 '22
That was the first website I came across where I felt I had unlimited power . It made me a stronger man.
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u/Codebust Jan 10 '22
xvideos is the only popular nsfw site that works on 3ds really xD
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u/BenjimusMaximus Jan 10 '22
His search engine skills need a little work, but he’ll be cruising Reddit in no time.
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u/-HoldMyBeer-- Jan 10 '22
I watched porn for the first time on firefox. It also happened to be the first time I used firefox, so I didn't know how to delete the history. One day, I realized that I should try to delete it but to my surprise, it was already deleted. So I thought that firefox deletes it automatically.
5 years later, my dad says "I know you watch porn" out of nowhere.
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u/effectasy Jan 10 '22
I was the opposite. I was the older brother and found my dad's and brothers porn history.
My brother apparently got his preference for Asian women from my dad. He also lives in Japan now.
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u/Christian4423 Jan 10 '22
Jokes on him. The 3DS doesn’t browse the web very well. I always had to refresh my page just from google results.
Now my PSP back in the 2000s that had a great web browser for its time.
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