r/HolUp Dec 19 '21 Wholesome 61 All-Seeing Upvote 1 Silver 50 Helpful 54

Pause holup

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81.7k Upvotes

5.3k

u/CrittendenWildcat Dec 20 '21

"Good. Adaptation, improvisation. But your weakness is not your technique...."

1.8k

u/king_ugly00 Dec 20 '21 Wholesome Yummy

... you think that's pre cum you're tasting?

481

u/pants_owner Dec 20 '21

Lol nice, this fucking got me.

316

u/finedrive Dec 20 '21

Lol, the top comment was great, then this one omg

Edit: more info on friends mom tho

292

u/TourismAustralia Dec 20 '21

10/10 would bang.

38

u/Mrwolf925 Dec 20 '21

Still waiting for part two

97

u/lilsarim Dec 20 '21

What a way to promote tourism in Australia 😂😂

22

u/Tots2Hots Dec 20 '21

She starts talking with that Aussie accent and I'm done.

11

u/finedrive Dec 20 '21

More, I need more

23

u/lilsarim Dec 20 '21

Thats what she said

7

u/Djinn7711 Dec 20 '21

Then you’re doing her wrong……

40

u/dickdastardaddy Dec 20 '21

Meanwhile friend's mom thinking: How can he be better than me confused

34

u/Sea_beanie349 Dec 20 '21

10/10 milf

92

u/traxonova Dec 20 '21

Same. I had it on repeat for a few times, was just looking at the mom.

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u/Zeronaut81 Dec 20 '21

Messing with my friend’s mom: part two moves onto a demonstration involving raw oysters

27

u/finedrive Dec 20 '21

Messing with my friends mom part 3: she’s stuck in the washing machine

17

u/nextalpha Dec 20 '21

son's friend what are you doing?

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207

u/SasparillaTango Dec 20 '21

Are you a fire nation sword master?

94

u/averagedickdude Dec 20 '21

Matrix

60

u/SasparillaTango Dec 20 '21

creativity, versatility, intelligence. These are the traits that define a great swordsman.

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5.8k

u/HodlMyBottle Dec 19 '21 Silver Wholesome

LOL, the recognition in her eyes.

3.4k

u/Next-Cash-4293 Dec 20 '21 Wholesome Bravo!

Game recognizes game

759

u/TarrasqueHobbs Dec 20 '21

And you lookin' kinda unfamiliar right now

200

u/Obediablo Dec 20 '21

Don’t do it granddad

96

u/Shreeyans_Mohanty Dec 20 '21

"I'm sorry, but.. but... it is just getting bigger and bigger!"

17

u/Capital-Signal-3367 Dec 20 '21

Proud to know others can make The Boondocks references

9

u/AJC19706 Dec 20 '21

Definitely cancelled way too soon.

9

u/KingKongsLongAssDong Dec 20 '21

DON’T FEED HER!!!

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107

u/MrZyde Dec 20 '21

She taught him well

161

u/thegardenbean225 Dec 20 '21

“I didn’t teach him that”

45

u/Hey-man-Shabozi Dec 20 '21

If no one else is gonna say it then I will. Milf. We all thought it.

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16.4k

u/Scarfiotti Dec 19 '21 edited Dec 20 '21 Silver Helpful Wholesome Take My Energy Starry This Awesome Answer

Mom is a milf.

Edit: RIP inbox. :)

4.5k

u/Mind_yo_own Dec 20 '21 Helpful Wholesome

From the 20 pixels I see. Can confirm..

1.7k

u/Scarfiotti Dec 20 '21

Trained internet eyes.;)

1.3k

u/makeitlouder Dec 20 '21 Wholesome

Those of us who remember when all porn was 640x480 have had a lifetime of training. We’re good at this.

341

u/starrpamph Dec 20 '21

.... This

Video

Was

Posted

On

185

u/Magikill1 Dec 20 '21

An ad read, hi everybody it's time to hear a word from today's sponsor:

126

u/salimonreddit Dec 20 '21

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34

u/amynias Dec 20 '21

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21

u/elwebst Dec 20 '21

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8

u/grubbapan Dec 20 '21

Once you’ve gotten all that setup you know the women are going to be lining up outside your door. Not ready for all those women you say ? We’ll head on over to manscaped.com and get yourself a lawnmower 4.0. 9 out of 10 partners prefer a trimmed partner so get ready today with 20% off using the code on screen now.

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157

u/samfiliatreau Dec 20 '21

My friend has a great theory that there’s a generational gap between tits and ass guys. He claims all men that experienced early internet porn are inherently tits guys because the image would load top to bottom thus leaving most wanking time to the tits.

69

u/makeitlouder Dec 20 '21

Would actually love to see some data on this. Anecdotally I would have thought that younger guys skew toward being ass guys, with the kardashian influence on that generation among other factors. But I do remember instances where I finished and hit post-nut clarity before the picture even loaded down to the ass. No need to waste kilobytes and the rest of the picture at that point. Just shut ‘er down.

43

u/milk4all Dec 20 '21

Make no mistake: the kardashians chased the ass wave - they did not cause it.

I’ve been an ass man since Futurama. Yeah i said it, you know which episode.

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25

u/1337-Sylens Dec 20 '21

Appreciation for good ass was here long before Kardashians and will remain after they’re gone. Don’t attribute my exquisite taste for booty to shitty American cultural influences.

11

u/STL_Blue Dec 20 '21

Google says plastic can take 450 years to deteriorate. I think the Kardashians will be around for a long time.

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29

u/ImGreatAtBattles Dec 20 '21

Now we just need a fancy name for the theory, like Schrodinger's cat.

15

u/Mr-_-Jumbles Dec 20 '21

Limited Bandwidth Breast Bias

13

u/herd__of__turtles Dec 20 '21

Bandwidth Booty Shift, B.B.S. for short

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15

u/Cyberzombie Dec 20 '21

Rap vidéos. You start looking at some fine booty and you can appreciate that it's as good as tits.

Then, IRL, you realize staring at tits gets you caught, but you can look at booty all day. I still like tits, but day ass wins a lot of the time.

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42

u/Avatorjr Dec 20 '21

640x480? Damn you rich. I had worse then that growing up. Channel had to be on 27, and it was always blurry. I could occasionally make out a face or a tiddy. Good times

25

u/RockstarAgent Dec 20 '21 edited Dec 20 '21

It was great because your expectations or understanding of what a woman looked like in real life, were really low, then going from that to maybe 10-15 years later, you laid with a woman and it blew your mind just the 8k HD hyper reality of the textures, beauty and everything.

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11

u/Wagosh Dec 20 '21

Late 90s early 00s with the 4 10sec sample clip that you were allowed to download. Putting them in a media player playlist on the family shared computer.

53

u/TOTEMBOl Dec 20 '21

The best porn is filmed on a potato. And I live by that.

7

u/Cyberzombie Dec 20 '21

I do not want to see 4k porn. VHS quality porn hides many things that really should stay hidden.

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23

u/YataBLS Dec 20 '21

My 6-7 years living in 56kbps were not wasted.

5

u/HotChickenshit Dec 20 '21

You haven't lived until you try to load playboy.com on a 9600 baud modem!

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221

u/Skitsoboy13 Dec 20 '21

You know your mom's a milf when 4k people on Reddit think so too

40

u/StealthyRobot Dec 20 '21

12,000 now, holy shit

9

u/Scarfiotti Dec 20 '21

This has litteraly been my day, from the moment I woke up, 4:30 AM till now.

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1.3k

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

you're a milf yourself u/Scarfiotti!

467

u/Beew_Skeews Dec 20 '21

good bot

249

u/RapsVanFan Dec 20 '21

Great bot

269

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

Not bot

Edit: beep boop

195

u/HardHustle84 Dec 20 '21

That’s what a bot would say.

111

u/NEVS283 Dec 20 '21

THEY’RE LEARNING

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72

u/TikTokNoGood15 Dec 20 '21

You joined Reddit 9 months ago you prego

31

u/cuthysmalz2 Dec 20 '21

I lurked and there is only dick jokes on that account

21

u/SuprDog Dec 20 '21

so that was a fucking lie

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517

u/1_Prettymuch_1 Dec 20 '21

She hot af

91

u/Quackels_The_Duck Dec 20 '21

*smacks you with branch

NO

68

u/465554544255434B52 Dec 20 '21

AWOOOGA HUBBA HUBBA

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32

u/MNHuskerNation Dec 20 '21

Straight up

474

u/aye-its-this-guy Dec 20 '21

Bad af. I’d be wanting to act up if I was coming over

85

u/legebruv Dec 20 '21

Same

122

u/OvarianProdigy Dec 20 '21

Neither of you would do anything

227

u/Bearsbarebear Dec 20 '21 Silver Wholesome

No I would. I would go to to the mom and go “my thwingy thwangy is fweewing weally weird, I twhink i have wisssue”. Then she be like “Oh no, here let me relieve that for you. Then we fuck but then the friend would walk in and be like “oh my god why are you fucking my mom”. I told him ill buy him xbox gift card and he calm down his raging boner.

69

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

“OverianProdigy has left the Xbox Live Party.”

13

u/laxintx Dec 20 '21

Yo, where's that giant meteor at?

31

u/Tricky-Detail-6876 Dec 20 '21

You watch too much cheap and weird porn my guy!

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243

u/pickledchocolate Dec 20 '21

Yeah I'd fuck her if she gave consent

178

u/Not_Your_Romeo Dec 20 '21

You know what’s really fucking hot? Consent. Let’s communicate y’all

83

u/jollymenace Dec 20 '21

I'd throw gang signs in her vagina to let her know that I was about to murder it.

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103

u/SmiththeSmoke Dec 20 '21

Came to the comments specifically to see this

66

u/SixElephant Dec 20 '21

Pervert, these comments are underage. Can’t believe you came to them.

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u/Tarro_Yeet Dec 20 '21

I knew someone would say it. It wasn’t going to be me, but I knew someone would. Take my free award for being braver than me god damn it.

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50

u/rykroslocaste Dec 20 '21

MILF that's trying to get some pointers, or is impressed by his technique. No wonder Timmy comes over so often...

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25

u/Kgb529 Dec 20 '21

I would really like to fuck stiflers mom

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5.5k

u/unofficialrobot Dec 20 '21

Jesus your friends mom is pretty af

1.6k

u/Pro-Cock-and_ball Dec 20 '21

Suddenly, I want to be OP friend☺️☺️

616

u/soup_flikkker Dec 20 '21

OP moms friend

426

u/Roasted_Turk Dec 20 '21

I wanna be OPs friends dad.

259

u/rockbud Dec 20 '21

You mother fucker

43

u/Muze69 Dec 20 '21

I'm the mother lover

28

u/rockbud Dec 20 '21

I'll make you a brother

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u/thetoastypickle Dec 20 '21 edited Dec 20 '21

I desire to have sexual relations with original poster’s mother

29

u/Marlon-Brandos-Eyes Dec 20 '21

I desire to have sexual relations with the original poster's parental figure who happens to be of the female gender.

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u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21 edited 4d ago

[deleted]

27

u/Pro-Cock-and_ball Dec 20 '21

Mad that OP mom look hotter than your wife??😎

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85

u/Sexxxt_Me Dec 20 '21

Waiting for part 2

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u/Fantastic_Start_6848 Dec 20 '21

Goddamn, friend's mom is bangin

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106

u/Smoulder_92 Dec 20 '21 hehehehe

Mom: "I've seen this raw strength only once before."

1.8k

u/CasperElshao Dec 19 '21

There's no way that's his mom

820

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

I’ll make her his mom

529

u/ChansenIsLoud Dec 20 '21

I’m trying to figure out how this works… are you gonna force her to sign adoption papers? Or are you the guys dad now?

178

u/baddie_PRO Dec 20 '21

go back in time and screw her

39

u/SuperPwnerGuy Dec 20 '21

Ah, The ol' Kyle Reese.

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u/TheReverseShock Dec 20 '21

You sign the adoption papers then marry her.

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u/Clayman8 Dec 20 '21

Heck of a power play, i say.

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27

u/lorenzomofo Dec 20 '21

Maybe a step mom with privileges.

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623

u/Six_Strings_of_Salem Dec 20 '21

I bet this kid gets sooo much shit over his mom. A friend of mine suffered this fate in school; A friend's dad said he'd buy my friend a car if he'd help set up a date.

203

u/PocketsJazz Dec 20 '21

So…

Did he set it up?

123

u/QareemKnightSenanda Dec 20 '21

Mans left us hanging.

14

u/No_Depth4466 Dec 20 '21

Thats cruel! We're not emo's to like that...

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u/DtownBronx Dec 20 '21

Like I'm not saying my mom is ugly...but thank goodness she was an older mom when she had me

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u/DEAN112358 Dec 20 '21

Bro I’d take a car just to set up a date. Get my mom in on it so she goes on the date and then ghosts him after I get my car

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2.1k

u/Famous_4nus Dec 19 '21

The mom hot doe

182

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

[deleted]

94

u/RealisticEmploy3 Dec 20 '21

Dammit I didn’t wanna be thirsty but you’re god. damn. right. I had trouble believing she was rlly a mom lmao

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u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

[deleted]

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1.1k

u/Marleyzard Dec 19 '21

Holy shit his mom is hot

113

u/RapidArrears Dec 20 '21 Wholesome

Yeah indeed!

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1.1k

u/Perry9872 madlad Dec 20 '21 Helpful

uhh is your friend possibly named stacy

307

u/Gus_TT_Showbiz420 Dec 20 '21

She's got it goin on

138

u/Fred-U Dec 20 '21

She's all thst I've wanted

77

u/vodiak Dec 20 '21

I've waited for so long.

65

u/Sithlordandsavior Dec 20 '21

Stacy, can't you see?

58

u/Clips_are_magazines Dec 20 '21

You’re just not the girl for me

33

u/Fred-U Dec 20 '21

CUZ I'M IN LOVE WITH STACY'S MOM!

12

u/vodiak Dec 20 '21

It might be wrong.

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1.4k

u/Thepoptort Dec 20 '21 edited Dec 20 '21 Silver

Bro every comment is commenting on how sexy the mom is... keep it up

Edit: why the hell did 500 of you fuckers upvote me

Edit 2: why the fuck did you give me 500 more. I'm disappointed in you all

600

u/MeisterHodor Dec 20 '21 Silver Wholesome

she's keeping other things up

77

u/Thepoptort Dec 20 '21

You cheeky motherfucker

36

u/MeisterHodor Dec 20 '21

i could only wish

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u/HungerForHipHop Dec 20 '21

it’s Reddit.

29

u/Salm9n Dec 20 '21

I’ll let this one slide. She’s a fox

19

u/WeirdSysAdmin Dec 20 '21

She is obviously a human.

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u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

"Mom can you show me if I was eating the ice cream correctly?"

79

u/rockbud Dec 20 '21

Yes. Definitely spit on it first

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442

u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

MILF

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164

u/creator_07 Dec 20 '21

Where’s part 2 at?

90

u/apfranz Dec 20 '21

Everyone is talking about how hot she is, I’m wondering where is part two!!!

20

u/CHA0T1CNeutra1 Dec 20 '21

I'm also wondering where part two is, but I will concede OP's mom is hot.

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247

u/Horse-mask-guy Dec 20 '21

There ain’t no way that’s his friends mom, looks more like a sister

159

u/Rhododendron29 Dec 20 '21

People mistook my mom for my sister until I was in my 20’s. She sure could be, some ladies have kids young, some look younger and my mom did both. Guys would tell me I was ok but my mom was really hot all the time in high school. Fucking hurt man.

54

u/DtownBronx Dec 20 '21

Girl I grew up with had an absurdly hot mom who blossomed in her 30s after leaving a very oppressive marriage, that poor girl heard some ridiculous comparisons over the years.

19

u/Rhododendron29 Dec 20 '21

Nothing like being compared to your mother at a very impressionable stage of life by your peers. I’ve always felt so ugly compared to my mother because of this. Just assumed I looked old and look plain at best.

9

u/DtownBronx Dec 20 '21

Ya not among our finer moments as teens. I hope she didn't feel that way but it's likely she did. Until the small town demons grabbed her she was a beautiful young woman.

My experience was are you sure you're not adopted because you don't look like anyone in your family. "How can you be his brother since he's white and you're black?" because the concept of biracial was a little too advanced for the common rural Arkansan

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u/wakalakabamram Dec 20 '21

Better post up some pictures just to make sure we believe you.

16

u/Rhododendron29 Dec 20 '21

Lol well she’s in her 50’s now and I don’t have any old pictures on hand. But she was 18 when I was born and she got asked for id for my 19th birthday and I did not. If that helps.

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u/TexianUSA Dec 20 '21

Kids are probably in high school, she could easily be 37

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u/My_neutered_cat Dec 20 '21

My mom looks like my sister and my sister looks like my mom

11

u/crafty_alias Dec 20 '21

The first time I met my friend's mom we just walked in the house, his mom and grandma were there. I thought his mom was his sister and his grandma was his mom. After we went downstairs I said, "your sister is hot", he replied, "that's my mom, bro".

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u/[deleted] Dec 20 '21

Comment section is in need of the horny jail

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u/Western_Panic7010 Dec 20 '21

His friend's mom is hot tbh...

52

u/KhaleesiDrogon68 Dec 20 '21

Her face is priceless XD

And someone has a sexy mom

Sorry - not sorry

65

u/SiCk_oF_YoUR_sHIt- Dec 20 '21

id love to mess with his freinds mom too

103

u/TromosLykos Dec 19 '21

She fears competition for her man.

98

u/DrDonut607 Dec 20 '21

I think that’s the only milf I thought is hot

58

u/ToffeeMunchAndCrunch Dec 20 '21

I mean she does look quite young. Can't be more than 35.

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u/HuffnDobak Dec 19 '21

Oh, she’s got thoughts now

73

u/toaster_stroodle69 Dec 20 '21

The mom can get it 🥴

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u/ThatSithClone Dec 20 '21

Shes fine af

41

u/Vertigo_Knight Dec 20 '21

That’s a mom?

51

u/thedash546 Dec 20 '21

It’s his friend’s sister. This is a tik tok that went viral in October.

12

u/apendam Dec 20 '21

Sauce?

7

u/coldheartedly Dec 20 '21

Would you happen to know the source?

24

u/thedash546 Dec 20 '21

Her tiktok username was @vickys2011, but she deleted her account.

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u/runjayrun1 Dec 20 '21

Y’all live in Milfadelphia??

53

u/kinda_cringe347 Dec 20 '21

Is the friend named Stacy...?

26

u/bulld-tx Dec 20 '21

He want a brother

25

u/jhuseby Dec 20 '21

Everyone’s missing that the mom is totally into what this friend is doing.

21

u/Important_dot1776 Dec 20 '21

Why does the mom look like she is questioning how her son has better technique than her

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u/buttseason Dec 20 '21

She’s a babe

32

u/fuzzyrugby Dec 20 '21

Mom is gonna be asking for tips

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u/LittleDickk Dec 20 '21

If Emma Watson and Kate beckinsale siccored you would get this beauty

22

u/Powerism Dec 20 '21

siccored

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u/icecreampoop Dec 20 '21

She single?

16

u/theWanderer_420 Dec 20 '21

Beautiful mom there. Id mess with her too

15

u/kbo_88 Dec 20 '21

The spit part sent me😂😂😂

16

u/HalfSoul30 Dec 20 '21

Your comment was the first one I could find about the kid lol.

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