r/AskReddit Dec 05 '21 Silver 36 Helpful 41 Wholesome 38 Heartwarming 1 Narwhal Salute 2 Table Slap 1 Spit-take 1

If jesus died for our sins, then who died for our cos and tan?

32.4k Upvotes

11.7k

u/Back2Bach Dec 05 '21 Silver Platinum Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote Bravo!

Euclid, depending on which angle you look at it.

1.5k

u/QuadraKev_ Dec 05 '21

As long as it's on a flat surface

963

u/darybrain Dec 05 '21 Silver Helpful

Or a plateau, which is the highest form of flattery.

130

u/tommytraddles Dec 05 '21

Many a hand has scaled the grand old face of the plateau.

57

u/NetDork Dec 05 '21

Turned out there was nothing at the top but a bucket and a mop and an illustrated book about birds.

17

u/AssumptionExpert7597 Dec 05 '21

See a lot up there but don't be scared Who needs action when you got words

4

u/blahblahrasputan Dec 05 '21

Wow I've only been listening to that for maybe like 25 years and never really looked at what was actually said...

11

u/Nice_Temporary_5810 Dec 05 '21

Some belong to strangers and some to folks you know

27

u/Music_Saves Dec 05 '21

Clever girl!

→ More replies

100

u/RadiantHC Dec 05 '21

Which has a pi on it

20

u/i_am_voldemort Dec 05 '21

Time is a flat circle

7

u/bluehormones Dec 05 '21

Is it not earth that's flat?

→ More replies

28

u/PhoenixPringles01 Dec 05 '21

But first, we need to talk about parallel uni- I mean lines, parallel lines.

6

u/Dexaan Dec 05 '21

An A press is an A press!

5

u/chaoticYoshy Dec 06 '21

A half A press is not an A press!

5

u/PhoenixPringles01 Dec 06 '21

fuck it

sqrt(2) A press

→ More replies
→ More replies

83

u/bem13 Dec 05 '21

At least it's not Keter.

3

u/PursuitOfGrouchiness Dec 05 '21

Constanza from Seinfeld did! What a true hero.

16

u/luthiz Dec 05 '21

Here's looking at Euclid...

13

u/Mirai182 Dec 05 '21

SCP-079 detected

11

u/The_r_slash Dec 05 '21

If you look right, you’ll see a cute angle

9

u/I_am_an_aa_gun Dec 05 '21

There's a certain Euclid in my class.

4

u/ReeceReddit1234 Dec 05 '21

I have a Euclid too. But you wouldn't know her. She goes to a different school

→ More replies

15

u/Ukuled Dec 05 '21

You mean me? phonetically at least

17

u/Bella2371 Dec 05 '21

SCP - 1313 HAS BREACHED CONTAINMENT -

4

u/life_is_a_burner Dec 05 '21

Euclid say that again!

→ More replies

22.1k

u/Hugh_manateerian Dec 05 '21 Silver Gold Helpful Wholesome All-Seeing Upvote hehehehe Starstruck Masterpiece Brighten My Day

People with skin cancer died for the tan, martyrs die for a just cos.

3.7k

u/Chee_Bot Dec 05 '21 Silver

Hmm.. Then if I divide Jesus with those martyrs,

will I get people with skin cancer?

1.2k

u/elppaenip Dec 05 '21

sin=o/h, cos=a/h
so: sin/cos = (o/h)/(a/h) = o/a = tan
so yes

684

u/SilentKingOfSpam Dec 05 '21

People who choose Sin over Cos would get Tan.

So, yes.

143

u/othershwarna Dec 05 '21

So that's Jesus right? Coz he choose sin..

119

u/DiamondPup Dec 05 '21

No no you're thinking of Gandalf the Grade

127

u/EitherEconomics5034 Dec 05 '21

Well he went from Grey to White, so it’s more Gandalf the Gradient

55

u/pipthemouse Dec 05 '21

That is just irrational

23

u/Mysterious_Ad_4588 Dec 05 '21

Question answered, we can all leave now.

23

u/LifeIsVanilla Dec 05 '21

I feel like I should've understood any of that, but just chose not to, and while left with more questions than answers I'm better off banking on the professor scaling up the grade due to everyone else doing even worse than me.

Basically I'm holding out for Moses to save me from a C.

→ More replies
→ More replies
→ More replies

23

u/dimalga Dec 05 '21

That's because Jesus is a martyr, but he's in a different phase.

Shifted about 90°.

27

u/PyrocumulusLightning Dec 05 '21

I thought those were the arc angels

→ More replies
→ More replies

22

u/darvin_rio Dec 05 '21

if you choose cos over sin, you get a cot and get to sleep in peace ☮️

152

u/Acceptable_Twist_565 Dec 05 '21

Not to go on a tangent here, but my wife recently bought a car, and when she went to sine for the loan my mom reduced the interest by offering to cosine. We went home and celebrated family boardgame night by playing Settlers of Cotan. We then-

Objection, I vote that we angryupvote this comment right now!

I secant.

I cosecant.

Three votes for and the motion caries.

29

u/scheisse-wurst Dec 05 '21

How did caries come into the picture?

26

u/kindall Dec 05 '21

it was a sweet pun

→ More replies

5

u/TheNakriin Dec 05 '21

That one was really good

→ More replies

5

u/sunrise98 Dec 05 '21

Most Brits go to cos, sin and get a tan.

→ More replies

14

u/angrydrunkencanadian Dec 05 '21

SOHCAHTOA bitches.

8

u/ecologyiscool Dec 05 '21

Some Old Hippie, Caught Another Hippy, Tripping On Acid. S/O=H, C/A=H, T/O=A

→ More replies
→ More replies

8

u/CalledToSwerve Dec 05 '21

Oscar had a heap of apples

O/H, A/H, O/A

28

u/OpenFee4147 Dec 05 '21

Leave it to Reddit to create a math formula for an abstract concept like Sin.

37

u/-CURL- Dec 05 '21

I hope you're still young because you should have learned those formulas in high school otherwise. I'll never forget my sohcahtoa.

→ More replies
→ More replies

6

u/perfect_square Dec 05 '21

What do you do when you stub your foot? Soh cah toa. My 8th grade teacher, I think

→ More replies

19

u/FUUUDGE Dec 05 '21

Well they were hanging out in the sun for those last couple days they had

8

u/I_Dashboard_It Dec 05 '21

Enough internet for me today

→ More replies

210

u/drDjausdr Dec 05 '21

Take this upvote and run.

11

u/SilentKingOfSpam Dec 05 '21 edited Dec 05 '21

How about the people aboard the Ti Sin/Cos ic?

→ More replies
→ More replies

14

u/alluballu Dec 05 '21

did they die for a just cos or just cos?

47

u/Razarex Dec 05 '21

Question answered, we can all leave now.

9

u/happy_bluebird Dec 05 '21

I wanted to come up with a clever response, but you win

18

u/Eternity_Incarnate Dec 05 '21

What about sec, cosec, and cotan?

15

u/PureRegretto Dec 05 '21

times manager, times co manager and skin cancer patients co manager

→ More replies

4

u/alexb132 Dec 05 '21 Wholesome

Cos, or some say Cosm

8

u/GallicPontiff Dec 05 '21

Damn that's good

→ More replies

3.5k

u/WulfricThePhilosofur Dec 05 '21 Silver Gold

Pythagoras.

1.3k

u/MurderDoneRight Dec 05 '21 Wholesome

He's an angle now.

320

u/Not_The_Real_Odin Dec 05 '21

He's acute-e :)

136

u/adawggie Dec 05 '21

Don’t be obtuse, you know that’s not right!

93

u/poopellar Dec 05 '21

Yeah it's just plane wrong.

40

u/DuBistSehrDoof Dec 05 '21

Sorry, just a reflex. I’ll make sure they don’t do that again.

31

u/Lizardledgend Dec 05 '21 Wholesome

Better not, that shit aint right

11

u/Heatedpotatoes Dec 05 '21

Sorry, just trying to give complementary welcomings to them.

9

u/CircleOfNoms Dec 05 '21 Silver

Sorry, its a reflex.

10

u/subscribe_for_facts Dec 05 '21

e flirts with you

E: aw you think I'm cute

12

u/UWUPatrol Dec 05 '21

The sum of these comments makes me want to 180 out of here

23

u/mrbadxampl Dec 05 '21

Mornin', Angle...

19

u/GrandMasterBullshark Dec 05 '21

I actually had to come back to this thread to upvote this comment.

→ More replies
→ More replies

18

u/Ninja_Conspicuousi Dec 05 '21

Didn’t he technically kill people for not adhering to his weird Pythagorean cult?

24

u/Jonas276 Dec 05 '21

Alledgedly the Pythagoreans killed someone who proved that sqrt(2) is irrational. They believed that every number was rational, so they didn't like it when someone proved that such a normal number is irrational

23

u/soayherder Dec 05 '21

Threw him over a cliff.

It's one way to flatten the curve.

→ More replies

14

u/sooprvylyn Dec 05 '21

I think you got the intended joke

3

u/teafuck Dec 05 '21

May his perennial wisdom inform another few millennia of philosophy

6

u/xxkoloblicinxx Dec 05 '21

Yeah, but he only died for the Cos, so who died for Tan?

7

u/WulfricThePhilosofur Dec 05 '21

Dan, Dan died for Tan.

3

u/HintOfAreola Dec 05 '21

RIP Dan the Man who died for Tan

→ More replies

139

u/reichplatz Dec 05 '21 Silver

dont answer this, its a trig question

8

u/ghotiaroma Dec 05 '21

I would have also accepted triq question.

→ More replies

1.3k

u/WABI98_2 Dec 05 '21 Wholesome

Mrs. Markham, who swore we were all going to end up working at McDonald's. She was wrong. It was Wendy's.

352

u/upthecounty Dec 05 '21

I'm sure she preached the line "you won't have a calculator in your pocket everywhere you go", and she was correct, my former manager at Wendy's banned employees from having a phone anywhere on the premises.

152

u/BaaBaaTurtle Dec 05 '21

While I get that this expression is trite and often memed, being able to do math in your head and having a good "feel" for numbers is a great skill to have, especially when it comes to your budget.

102

u/Rukh-Talos Dec 05 '21

This is why rounding is amazing. It simplifies the math a little.

Note: Always round up when figuring how much something will cost, but always round down when determining how much money you have.

20

u/Eadword Dec 05 '21

Useful trick even when you have a calculator if you don't want to go look up exact numbers. That said I've often discovered my math was off significantly, however, as I did round pessimistically it has always been a happy surprise to see how much more money I had left than expected.

8

u/Rukh-Talos Dec 05 '21

That’s the idea. I’d rather realize I have more money than I thought than suddenly run out of money.

5

u/Nyxelestia Dec 05 '21

I live CA, so high sales taxes. When I'm shopping and mentally tallying my bill, I just round up to the next dollar no matter what, then add a tenth. I get a surprisingly accurate total, likely because I round up regardless of how close to the next dollar the price is (re: 1 cent or 99), so the extreme cancel each other out.

3

u/Samazonison Dec 05 '21

Back in the days when I had a checkbook, I would always round up when entering my checks. It created a nice cushion in case I made a mistake.

→ More replies
→ More replies

9

u/RChickenMan Dec 05 '21

Right, "number sense." I teach algebra 2 in high school, and while students are always free to use calculators, the ones who NEED it for simple things like adding and subtracting single digit negative integers (i.e. lacking basic number sense) are invariably the ones who can't do the algebra itself.

→ More replies

10

u/Takin2000 Dec 05 '21

As a math student, I can tell you that while knowing all formulas by heart may sound pointless when you can just look them up, its important to have them in your head (atleast the important ones) in order to get used to them and to generate new ideas.

Its like wanting to discuss a book and instead of reading it, you just look up the relevant scene everytime someone makes a point about it. Sure, you can do that, but knowing all the chapters before and after and knowing it without someone else mentioning it will surely help you to find new ideas.

→ More replies

33

u/WABI98_2 Dec 05 '21

I think she got some heat when all her classes failed standardized testing en masse.

11

u/retired-penguin Dec 05 '21

Nah, I wasn't allowed to use a calculator when I took my baccalaureate (that would be the high school final exam in my country). For that reason I only got a 94/100 in chemistry, where we had to do calculations with 4-decimal numbers in a pretty limited time. Who fuckin thought that was a good idea?! Almost ruined my score.

→ More replies

5

u/buffalonixon Dec 05 '21

I love the original post question and I love this whole thread

3

u/La_Lanterne_Rouge Dec 05 '21

So, you went off in a tangent, one might say.

→ More replies
→ More replies

897

u/Captcha_Imagination Dec 05 '21

The SOH CAH TOA teacher who wore native American clothes who got fired

225

u/taintgunna Dec 05 '21

Damn. Came here to say that. With a link! https://youtu.be/Bu4fulKVv2c

121

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '21 edited 9d ago

[deleted]

19

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '21

[deleted]

→ More replies
→ More replies

160

u/FreeDoum Dec 05 '21

Honestly clicked on the link thinking it was gonna be some petty political correctness scandal but daamn. What was she on

80

u/Korhaka Dec 05 '21

Those kids will never forget though. On that basis, good teaching.

Although if my teacher screamed the N word after some fact I would probably remember that too, doesn't make it a good idea...

44

u/MakeShiftJoker Dec 05 '21

"You whipped out your pussy and started bouncing on a balloon screaming explitives"

"I JUST WANTED THEM TO REMEMBER PYTHAGORAS' THEOREM!"

"Please put your pants back on Ms.Wilson."

13

u/skyisfallen Dec 05 '21

I don't know why this made me laugh. It's horrible. But you're also not wrong.

→ More replies

14

u/bananastanding Dec 05 '21

To be fair, those kids will never forget SOHCOATOA for the rest of their lives, lol. They'll even be telling their grandkids about it!

→ More replies
→ More replies

46

u/Agreeable_Objective Dec 05 '21

This could be a scene from the office

58

u/no_one_special- Dec 05 '21

i got secondhand embarrassment. couldn't finish it all.

4

u/OSSlayer2153 Dec 05 '21

Same. It was so bad

19

u/blackdynomitesnewbag Dec 05 '21

Maybe she just got fired for doing drugs at work.

12

u/Nyxelestia Dec 05 '21

Does anyone else wonder wtf all her other lessons were like, given she didn't seem to think twice about this?

20

u/mgraunk Dec 05 '21

She has virtually no art, student work, or learning aides hanging on the walls. Her slides appear to be black and white MS paint creations. Her "dramatization" of the concept consists primarily of screaming the key vocabulary while dancing erratically. And despite her desperation, the students are largely disengaged (or paralyzed by shock), yet she steamrolls ahead regardless.

Morons like this are a large part of why I left the profession.

6

u/Nyxelestia Dec 05 '21

I put the video on mute and skimmed it. Her corkboard...is just an apple that says 'READ', it looks like? If she's trying to teach sin/cos/tan or SohCahToa, isn't she a math teacher - and thus shouldn't she have math stuff somewhere? These kids look like middle-schoolers, I don't see why they need a reminder to 'read' at this age.

→ More replies

41

u/wut3va Dec 05 '21

That was NOT native American clothes. It was offensive though. Not even really in a racist way. It's just... bad.

31

u/Agreeable_Objective Dec 05 '21

Offensive in a "why would you do this" way

→ More replies
→ More replies

18

u/darybrain Dec 05 '21

She definitely took some peyote before planning that class.

→ More replies

39

u/Houeclipse Dec 05 '21

Ngl when I was learning that in school I always thought how it can be a Skyrim shout with 3 words

38

u/Lumpy_Doubt Dec 05 '21

Skyrim was already out when you learned trigonometry?

...fuck

14

u/bagboyrebel Dec 05 '21

It's been out for 10 years now.

→ More replies

32

u/Poilaunez Dec 05 '21

In french, it is CAH SOH TOA, which sounds like "casse-toi" = fuck-off.

7

u/possumman Dec 05 '21

I thought casse-toi was sarcastic or a bit jokey? (Not a native speaker). I thought it originated from Brice De Nice saying "Et tu casses". Or did his joke come from a real phrase?

4

u/Poilaunez Dec 05 '21

"casser" can have many meanings, from the original "to break" to "going away" (casse-toi, je me casse, ...), its use to despise someone was a bit popularised with Brice de Nice. "casse-toi" is insulting.

→ More replies
→ More replies

27

u/Rare-Notice7417 Dec 05 '21

God damn. No coming back from that one.

→ More replies

452

u/ammenz Dec 05 '21 Helpful

Reddit is just going off on a tangent.

127

u/mister_sinister14 Dec 05 '21

Never a good sine

55

u/adeepspacemonster Dec 05 '21

Why should I trust it just cos you say

13

u/subscribe_for_facts Dec 05 '21

Don't go off on another tangent. A cotangent, if you will

→ More replies

9

u/WalrusByte Dec 05 '21

Seems a bit hyperbolic if you ask me

→ More replies

7

u/-B-E-N-I-S- Dec 05 '21

You just have to try to see things from a different angle. Right now, you’ve got an opposite point of view. Maybe if your views were adjacent, you’d understand the problem.

→ More replies

465

u/RedLeader7 Dec 05 '21

Not much of a sacrifice given he was up and about the next day, I guess it’s more like “Jesus gave up his weekend for our sins”

136

u/fistful_of_whiskey Dec 05 '21

Well, it took him 3 days, so it depends on how you count your weekends

61

u/[deleted] Dec 05 '21

Some places get Good Friday off, turning Easter weekend into a nice three day break.

8

u/Perhyte Dec 05 '21

And in the Netherlands we get the following Monday off instead.

→ More replies

5

u/tocilog Dec 05 '21

So he died (for 3 days) to give us a Friday off. You know, I can appreciate that. He was even born to give us the 25th of December off. The guy gave us two holidays!

→ More replies

31

u/RomeoWhiskey Dec 05 '21

Well, it was a holiday weekend.

8

u/Charles_Whethers Dec 05 '21

He got some free wood, too. That was a big plus.

9

u/Clovdyx Dec 05 '21

I read that as weed and wasn't sure we read the same book.

5

u/PsychedelicMetalhead Dec 05 '21

Maybe those stonings weren't as bad as we thought

17

u/darybrain Dec 05 '21

Jesus had actually disappeared to attend a long weekend festival, but didn't want to tell his followers because they were being so clingy and he just wanted some me time. On his return they were like "Yo J, where you been at? You look like you died and just woke up." He wasn't good at thinking on his feet particularly with a raging hangover so just went with that explanation and people lapped it up. That festival must have been a banger!

→ More replies

40

u/sassynapoleon Dec 05 '21

He died at pi and was back from the dead at 2pi.

28

u/dum_BEST Dec 05 '21

it must have been a rough period for him

→ More replies

3

u/mgraunk Dec 05 '21

3 days of excruciating torture is "not much of a sacrifice"? Sure he just gave up a weekend, but as we all learned from the Princess Bride, being mostly dead all day is rough on a man.

→ More replies

101

u/49thPercentile Dec 05 '21

Skin cancer victims died for our tans.

25

u/Ninjaromeo Dec 05 '21

They died for their own tans

6

u/daniel21205 Dec 05 '21

This is a clever one

→ More replies

87

u/Imperial_Fists Dec 05 '21

Ha. Math joke

80

u/Retirix_YT Dec 05 '21 edited Dec 05 '21

My teacher made the joke in our maths class, made the class die of laughter

74

u/Fynn_the_Finger Dec 05 '21

And so your whole class died for our trigs.

27

u/Boatman1141 Dec 05 '21

RIP your classmates. Must of been a tragic scene.

4

u/Midnightcowb0y Dec 05 '21

So jesus died for our sins. The class died of laughter. So who exactly died for cos and tan?

Stay tuned for the next episode of askreddit. Every Friday at 5 pm, only on HBO.

→ More replies
→ More replies

9

u/akaKinkade Dec 05 '21

Ra died for our tan.

8

u/choopie-chup-chup Dec 05 '21

H-sus and I-sus, respectively

14

u/kim_jong_daillest Dec 05 '21

Remember, if you don't sin Jesus died for nothing.

5

u/SLObro152 Dec 05 '21

Straight to jail!

19

u/IvoShandor Dec 05 '21

Texas Instruments

29

u/kinkym0nk Dec 05 '21 Silver Helpful

Saddam Hussein

57

u/Lokimonoxide Dec 05 '21

I get it, but I don't really know what you want from the comments section.

5

u/Samazonison Dec 05 '21

Have you read some of the replies? Great entertainment, imo.

34

u/Smetsnaz Dec 05 '21

Attention.

→ More replies

5

u/BrittLee8 Dec 05 '21

The two dudes crucified on either side of him

→ More replies

5

u/DidntWantSleepAnyway Dec 05 '21

Sqrt((1 - Jesus)2 ) died for our cos.

47

u/gv7here Dec 05 '21

r/Jokes, please, go there

39

u/wut3va Dec 05 '21

At least it's not "What is the sexiest sex you ever sexed?" Like every other question on this sub. It's a refreshing change of pace.

→ More replies

17

u/Look_to_the_Stars Dec 05 '21

Oh you mean this sub isn’t for unfunny wannabe comedians to post their unfunny unoriginal jokes?

21

u/TheIronDuke18 Dec 05 '21 edited Dec 05 '21

Sin = tan/cos

Jesus = tan/cos

Jesus*cos = tan. Jesus/tan = 1/cos

Tan = (Jesus)*cos. Tan/jesus = cos

                                                Cos = Tan/Jesus

Hence, Tan was done by a Jesus if he was multiplied with a cos and Cos was done by a Jesus dividing Tan. Boom

9

u/Kwengnose2 Dec 05 '21

Isn't it sin = cos * tan

7

u/TheIronDuke18 Dec 05 '21

I haven't had maths for like 2 years so I forgor 💀💀

→ More replies
→ More replies

28

u/eaglescout1984 Dec 05 '21

God and the Holy Ghost, since they are the other 2 sides of the Trinity.

29

u/Dexaan Dec 05 '21

Holy trinity. Triangles. Math checks out.

→ More replies

12

u/xUsernameChecksOutx Dec 05 '21

Harambe

I swear that gorilla was the glue holding this world together.

3

u/kd3906 Dec 05 '21

If I knew what cos and tan was/were, I might provide an answer.

3

u/cretinous_oaf Dec 06 '21

I genuinely want nothing but the worst for you

16

u/clownmannolaugh Dec 05 '21

Cos means vagina in my language. So who do you know died for pussy ?

25

u/mainlyupsetbyhumans Dec 05 '21

Plenty of idiots.

→ More replies

7

u/meatlump Dec 05 '21

*coss and tans

3

u/wiwou Dec 05 '21

*coses

7

u/TheSeekerOfChaos Dec 05 '21

Schrödingers cat

did not

did

6

u/MaybeTrueMaybeNotQT2 Dec 05 '21

Why did you make me read that? Just...why...

5

u/R3tr0Rogue24 Dec 05 '21

God and the Holy Spirit?

→ More replies